Shipboard shags

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by rod-gearing, Jul 6, 2009.

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  1. Any fond memories of shipboard legovers from a pash or visitor.

    Although none involve me personally I do recall 2 occassions when shipmates were caught on the job.

    Once in the greenies mess on the Rot easy and once on a visitors sea day on the Ons-laugh.

    Very embarassing for those involved but great source of amusement for the rest of us.
  2. How strict are they with this no fraternising rule? Because I certainly cannot imagine how a bunch of horny sailors can go for weeks without even a feel????
    Has anyone been kicked out for it?
  3. If its still the same as it used to be, there is not much of a problem.
    The Joss man gives every one a blow job in rotation according to rank.
    As a junior in my first ship it was better as the Navy fcuked me regularly :D :D :D 8O
  4. Stop it Becky!

    First trying to corrupt poor ole Rookie to crack one off over webcam (which he can't cos his hands fukked) and now you're trying to see how lax they are on copulating round the ship!

    Don't go making a name for yourself on the first ship ya board!! ;) :D
    (I bloody well will :D )
  5. I'm only asking a question out of interest, what if I end up on ship with my fella? I'm a well-behaved girl really!
  6. Becky,

    quite simply - if you don't get caught they're not very strict. If you do - standby to see the XO and give him a load of your cash and liberty.

    I know someone who got kicked out for repeatedly being caught in female accom. He came back in a few years later as an orificer somehow, never did find out how he managed it.
  7. Lots are good, you need to aspire to perfection.

    You could enlist in an educational course at the happy shagger, its an educational facility run by ex sailors to enhance the sexual abilities of new entry women sailors.
    After a months tutorial you should be ready for sea duties, with the added advantage that you will walk with a list, like a real sea dog, or as a female a sea bitch. You will learn how to blow a sailors whistle, you will learn how to dance on a "horn pipe", all the little touches. How to get dressed into the rig of the day................quickly. And at the end you get a rating, but due to b*llock dropping by the Australian navy we need not go to deep into that one. :D :D :D
  8. No pun intended of course?
  9. On a serious note it's comforting to know they don't take it that seriously.

    Because honestly, if you lock a load of sailors up what do you expect?
  10. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    You obviously missed redass's post; "if you don't get caught they're not very strict".
    If you do get caught, you are in the poo. It may even get as far as being kicked out.
  11. From what he said it sounded more like if you got caught the once or twice it was a slap on the wrists but if you were trying to [email protected] your way round the ship then they make give you the boot.
  12. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Depends largely on the circumstances; if you're married you are well in it from the word go. If it's across ranks you'll be deep, otherwise it's down to how bad a mood the Jimmy's in.
  13. Seem to remember an officer getting caught at Dolphin, had a young(ish) woman overnight on one of the boats. Got done for conduct unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman.I believe that at the Courts Martial he sucessfully argued that it was only conduct unbecoming of an officer as it is a gentlemans perogrative to bed available woman. :oops:
    Maybe witsend , wrecker or redsailor can remember the story ?
  14. It's RN procedure to have a duty shipper fcuk buddy onboard. I've certainly enjoyed a fair few times of fondle in the AX/FX lockers, heads, gym, and 1 time on the bridge, in the C.O's chair but we won't repeat that to anyone, we will? Esp that Sgtpepper..............
  15. And the Jimmy is always in a bad mood, and if he ever gets a good mood the Skipper will sort that out pretty fast.
  16. Remember kids, fcuk buddys are for deployment, not for christmas. Standby to have a massive barney everytime the gangway drops though. "What do you mean you're going out with the lads and not getting a hotel with me?"

    If you don't get caught you're fine, if you do get caught, stand the fcuk by. Everybody knows it goes on, but everybody also expects you to be clever about it. Holding hands wandering down 2 deck will get you a kicking let alone a trooping.
  17. You are so right, that's one thing I enjoyed going on deployment on an all male ship compared to deployment on a mix ship, when the gangway dropped everyone went ashore and played with the locals with no Jenny trying to drag em off and getting all emotional when they tried saying no I'm off with the lads.
  18. I've seen myself off many a time, trapping onboard and thinking "she's alright" then getting alongside somewhere awesome, all your mates are getting weighed off with the ridiculously divs local birds. And whilst that is going on, your deployment wife, in her radiant bright pink sunburnt pussers tan, running up a massive bill on your mobile ringing her sister in Magaluf because hers isn't set up right or some bollocks is wrapped around your arm demanding "a nice hotel". You on the other hand, can only say one thing. "Fcuk."
  19. Some actually think they're in a relationship! Jack just wants his knob wet when not alongside lol
  20. Unfortunately Mens brains work completely differently to Womens brains.
    The man is able to seperate sex and love and enjoy a shag anytime.
    The woman seems to think that sex involves love and therefore if she is being shagged she is being loved.
    Their are of course exceptions to these rules.
    If you do find an exception then celebrate her with your messmates :p

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