Shaking Earth!

#1
I know this topic is on Arrse, but it seems Old Blighty has just faced a bit of an earth tremor. I was on the bog at the time and thought I was getting spasms in my arse!
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#2
You know when you've been sitting there too long when you manage to read a whole issue of FHM and you get pins and needles in your knees... :oops:
 
#3
ask_then_order said:
I know this topic is on Arrse, but it seems Old Blighty has just faced a bit of an earth tremor. I was on the bog at the time and thought I was getting spasms in my arse!
Perhaps you need to reconsider your sex life if your ricker is spasming, try a little giving instead of take, take, take. :tp:
 

Gray

Midshipman
#5
Very British for not a lot to happen, yet its a major thing! ;]
I slept right through it, sounds like I missed out all the fun!
 

Topaz

Lantern Swinger
#7
This was scarey I live like only a few miles from the center of it
Just drifting off to sleep then I thought my whole house was coming down!!
 
#8
Went to bed early due to east bound jet lag. Thought I had a dream about an earthquake. In the morning turned radio on and found it was real. (Now I am wondering about the bit when I saved Eva Green from the rubbble and what a greatful Eva did for me.) I asked Mrs DD if she had felt the earthquake as she had been down stairs catching up with corrie on sky plus. She said that she thought it was me going to the bathroom. Oh, that the bit about Eva was true!
 
#9
NZ_Bootneck said:
ask_then_order said:
I know this topic is on Arrse, but it seems Old Blighty has just faced a bit of an earth tremor. I was on the bog at the time and thought I was getting spasms in my arse!
Perhaps you need to reconsider your sex life if your ricker is spasming, try a little giving instead of take, take, take. :tp:
ROFL!
 
#12
Backpacker1uk said:
You now live in a Quake Zone, Area A,B,C, please send increased insurance payments to avoid your policy being null and void. Thank you.
You means that you can insure against acts of a non-existent God? :bball:
 
#13
ask_then_order said:
I know this topic is on Arrse, but it seems Old Blighty has just faced a bit of an earth tremor. I was on the bog at the time and thought I was getting spasms in my arse!
sorry boys and girls.. was out for a jog.. will make sure to put out a warning next time.. :thumright:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#14
URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
AT 00.54 ON WED 27th Feb 2008 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 8.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering:"Ah wiz shittin' masel",
"Ah need some jellies" "Ah need a fag and a Cally Spesh". The Earthquake
decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage, with the
exception of the Possil area, where approx. £375,000 of improvements were made.

Untold disruption and distress was caused. Many were woken well before
their giro arrived. Several priceless collections of mementos from the
Balearics and Spanish Costas were damaged. Three areas of historic and
scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

The cone fell off the head of the statue of the Duke of Wellington outside
the Gallery of Modern Art. That on his horse Copenhagen, managed to remain on the horse's head, albeit at a jaunty angle. Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow.

One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said: "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross
have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast Tonic Wine to the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:

Sovvy rings
Baseball caps
Shell suits
Tesco two stripe trainers
White socks
Chunky gold chains

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

Frozen burgers
Buckfast
Deep fried Mars Bars
Buckfast
Golden Wonder crisps (Cheese and Onion and Prawn Cocktail preferred)
Buckfast
Tripe and Onions
Buckfast
Black, White, Fruit or Red Pudding
Buckfast
Fray Bentos Pies
Old English Cider
Buckfast
Lard
Ready-cut Potato Chips
Lard
Buckfast

£2buys chips, scraps and "ginger" - preferably Dunn's or Alpine "Iron Brew" for a family of four.
£10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff
glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.
£1.95 buys an "All Day" bus ticket to enable disaster victims to travel
between the Social, the Posty, the Offy, McDonalds, and Whateverys, and
Glasgow Green or Elder Park for the refugees garden party.
Please send your credit card number and a sample signature.

THIS APPEAL IS MADE ON BEHALF OF THE GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS FUND BY THE SCOTTISH EXECUTIVE AND CITY OF EDINBURGH COUNCIL.
 
#15
sgtpepperband said:
URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL
AT 00.54 ON WED 27th Feb 2008 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 8.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering:"Ah wiz shittin' masel",
"Ah need some jellies" "Ah need a fag and a Cally Spesh". The Earthquake
decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage, with the
exception of the Possil area, where approx. £375,000 of improvements were made.

Untold disruption and distress was caused. Many were woken well before
their giro arrived. Several priceless collections of mementos from the
Balearics and Spanish Costas were damaged. Three areas of historic and
scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

The cone fell off the head of the statue of the Duke of Wellington outside
the Gallery of Modern Art. That on his horse Copenhagen, managed to remain on the horse's head, albeit at a jaunty angle. Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow.

One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said: "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross
have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast Tonic Wine to the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:

Sovvy rings
Baseball caps
Shell suits
Tesco two stripe trainers
White socks
Chunky gold chains

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

Frozen burgers
Buckfast
Deep fried Mars Bars
Buckfast
Golden Wonder crisps (Cheese and Onion and Prawn Cocktail preferred)
Buckfast
Tripe and Onions
Buckfast
Black, White, Fruit or Red Pudding
Buckfast
Fray Bentos Pies
Old English Cider
Buckfast
Lard
Ready-cut Potato Chips
Lard
Buckfast

£2buys chips, scraps and "ginger" - preferably Dunn's or Alpine "Iron Brew" for a family of four.
£10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff
glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.
22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim.
£1.95 buys an "All Day" bus ticket to enable disaster victims to travel
between the Social, the Posty, the Offy, McDonalds, and Whateverys, and
Glasgow Green or Elder Park for the refugees garden party.
Please send your credit card number and a sample signature.

THIS APPEAL IS MADE ON BEHALF OF THE GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS FUND BY THE SCOTTISH EXECUTIVE AND CITY OF EDINBURGH COUNCIL.

Where do we pay the mony into?
Do they take plastic or cash?

I am going to organise a collection locally for these poor folks,we've already collected some fresh warm horse dung donated by the local stables.
Would they accept TK Max clothing or must it be from Primark?
 
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