Shakey-No-Mates

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
Friday morning I got up and went to the kitchen. Flipped open the coffee
jar and tried to put two spoonsful (spoonfulls?) into mugs. My right hand
then went bat shit and I threw coffee all over the place. My right
hand, fingers, thumb and what have you will NOT stop shaking.
Any way after much to'ing and fro'ing between Dr's, A&E and
calling 111, I've been captured and thrown into Stalagluft Derriford
1, where I have been languishing since Monday morning.
Already had 2 x MRI's on the inside of my head....no results yet.
My current theories are that I've had a reactive side effect to new
anti depressant medication or on the upside......I've had a mini
fuckin' stroke.......whoopee doo.

Typing all this bollocks left handed, thoroughly pissed off because
I spent my 61'st Birthday in Derriford A&E, not swiftly followed by
scan number one and a free night in MAU with an 18 year old nutter
who wanted to discharge himself and ran all the staff, patients and
security guys ragged all night long until eventually getting sectioned and
hauled off in handcuffs and bollocks'o'clock on Tuesday morning.

Been in the really big magnet this afternoon, and have moved wards.
Hurrah!

So...that's it really. I now await a vast outpouring of sorrow for my
current plight and look forward to all your lovely messages of comfort
and joy.

BillyShakeyFingers
Billy,

Get the Docs to check if you have any brain damage. If you have, you may be eligible to be a Moderator! :D
 

MG Maniac

War Hero
Sorry to here of your plight Billy! Sounds like you have everything under control however doesn't Angry Doc haunt those hallowed halls??? Be afraid ... Be very afraid!
 

(granny)

RIP
Book Reviewer
Derriford, I hate the place. Shouldn't complain though as they've managed to keep this old twat going over the years. Keep your pecker up Billy (so droll!) DLTBGYD.
Get well soonest.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Still here! A day of utter boredom. No info or updates from anyone all day.
3rd scan did not happen (no info), update as to what is happening (no info),
all in all a day spent mooching about, annoying people in the lifts,
("Seventh floor! Main restaurant and cholostomy bag fitting unit!"),
more mooching outside the Main Entrance where a petrol powered parrot
from 771 Sqn dropped in, annoyed the bus drivers and blew my fag
out....cheers for that. I now eagerly await the arrival of tomorrow, because
if I don't get a result, I'm planning an escape by hiding myself in the Ward
sharps bin.....they will never think of looking in there.
Tonight I shall mostly be reading a "Rebus" novel that cost me a quid downstairs.

Thanks for all your witty, and helpful responses.

BillyWobbleFinger
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
Still here! A day of utter boredom. No info or updates from anyone all day.
3rd scan did not happen (no info), update as to what is happening (no info),
all in all a day spent mooching about, annoying people in the lifts,
("Seventh floor! Main restaurant and cholostomy bag fitting unit!"),
more mooching outside the Main Entrance where a petrol powered parrot
from 771 Sqn dropped in, annoyed the bus drivers and blew my fag
out....cheers for that. I now eagerly await the arrival of tomorrow, because
if I don't get a result, I'm planning an escape by hiding myself in the Ward
sharps bin.....they will never think of looking in there.
Tonight I shall mostly be reading a "Rebus" novel that cost me a quid downstairs.

Thanks for all your witty, and helpful responses.

BillyWobbleFinger
Tell me the title of the Rebus book and I will let you know the ending - just in case you don't make it through the night! Compassionate to a fault me!
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Think Shawshank Redemption and get tunnelling. With a spoon in the shaky mitt it would take you no time, you'd be like some sort of power digger and take you half the time, say 10 years or so!!
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
Think Shawshank Redemption and get tunnelling. With a spoon in the shaky mitt it would take you no time, you'd be like some sort of power digger and take you half the time, say 10 years or so!!
The daft twat would tunnel down through the ceiling of the ward below and fall to the floor, breaking several bones and another trip to A&E!
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Hardy fuckin' har har. The book is entitled "Resurrection" and
I'm going to read the end FIRST, so that sort of pisses on your
strawberry plants dunnit?
And I've pinched a soup ladel out of the ward galley (tunnels
for the digging of) just in case I don't fit in the bin what they
put all them needles in.
I always have a cunning plan.
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
Hardy fuckin' har har. The book is entitled "Resurrection" and
I'm going to read the end FIRST, so that sort of pisses on your
strawberry plants dunnit?
And I've pinched a soup ladel out of the ward galley (tunnels
for the digging of) just in case I don't fit in the bin what they
put all them needles in.
I always have a cunning plan.
I think you will find it is called "Resurrection Men".
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Oops!

Just got a bollocking from the duty staff nurse for looking around for
somewhere to charge my Samsung Tablet up.

How the fuck was I to know that when I took that plug out of its socket to put my charging plug in the bloke would flat-line?

He's okay now.....panic over.
 
Last edited:

Pontius

War Hero
You could get yourself to the galley and earn some pocket money mixing up milk shakes (but clean your hand after your ward 'activities'). I hope the scans reveal an easy fix and that you can return to two-finger typing in the near future. Who knows, the mods might feel sorry for you and reinstate your Women Who Need A Good Seeing To thread :)
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
"Morning! What would you like for breakfast?"

The lady who serves the food up here has now gone away to google 'shit on a raft' on
her I-phone.

I suppose it's going to have to be Rice Crispies again.
 

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