Sh*t yourself skinny pills!

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by RonJeremy, Apr 21, 2009.

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  1. Just saw this....

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...gh-customers-want-new-counter-diet-pills.html

    Apparently you can now buy tablets that make you sh*t yourself skinny! These pills which have been developed for fat cnuts, have the Brucey bonus side effect of giving the users chronic wind and explosive diarrhoea ( a bit like when you've had 10 pints of Caffreys and a stone of salted peanuts. Many's the time I've had to run to the sh*tter whilst dropping my pants only to pebble dash the pan with foul smelling runny brown fecal matter after a night on the nuts and Cafferys).
    These pills sound fcuking quality, not only for scat merchants but also for playing practical jokes on your oppos! What can be funnier than watching your shipmate try to squeeze a fart out only for it to result in a full on follow through! Isn't technology fcuking brilliant!!
     
  2. They would be the mutts nuts to slip into a couple of drinks at a ladies night, how long does it take though, before your 'arris explodes?
     
  3. According to the report on the radio this morning for best effect take with a fish supper or two
     
  4. Their big sister, Xenical, take several days to work and they work by partially stopping fat absorbtion in the gut. They reduce fat absorbtion by up to one third, according to the manufacturers, but without a change in dietary habits and exercise are pointless. The new diluted version, named irreverently after an Islamic personality (Alli is a woman's name but derived from Allah - God), will have the fundis up in arms! :roll: Reminds me of a company that called its detergent Cyclon! Talk about insensitivity!
     
  5. Not sure......would be really funny to watch a gorgeous stunner in a little white cotton mini skirt having a drink in a bar, little knowing that her drink has been spiked with these pills and then enjoying the spectacle of watching her sewage hull valve fail to open and a volcano like eruption of vile smelling liquid faeces pebble dash not only the back of her skirt and legs but also several of her equally divs oppos!
     

  6. I've also got this vision of liquidising them, injecting it into cheap cider bottles and then watching clumps of hoodies exploding in bus shelters throughout the land, that'll keep street crime down for starters
     
  7. Regretably it is more likely to be a bit after the fish supper or kebab you bought her on the way back to your place and the explosion is most likely to take place as you hit the vinegars. Isn't life a bundle of laughs.
     
  8. I tried xenical last year. They worked, and the side effects (for me at least) where nowhere near as dramatic as suggested. I found I had to stop taking them prior to going to sea due to the amout of fat in pusser's scran. I'll definately start them again when they go over the counter.
     
  9. Do you mind me asking if you took it for the added attraction of the chronic, vile smelling wind and the spewing of stinking liquid faeces from your hoop or because you're a fat cnut?
     
  10. Despite RJ's opening post and subsequent deviant meanderings :D (sadly for him) the effects are not so immediate or effective.

    A "gorgeous stunner in a little white cotton mini skirt" is unlikely to be a fat munter so will not have much fat in her diet and therefore will not experience an explosive ejection of the brown and stinky from her puckered starfish.

    The user of Orlistat or whatever it's being branded under, may experience side effects such as a brown, oily, uncontrollable leaky discharge and stomach cramps which mean he/she won't be straying too far from the bog when what they really need to do is cut down on eating crap food and get their lardy arse down the gym. (Yes, I am talking about myself here).
     
  11. Spoilsport we were enjoying this, reality is so boring
     


  12. What about if her diet consists of mainly 'man fat'? Would that be the required catalyst for her to lose all control and subsequently involuntarily squirt liquified faces into her g string and if so would it have a 'spermy' undertones detectable in the aroma?
     
  13. I always thought man fat was mainly protein, but I'm no expert so over to Steve...
     
  14. What a bone question. Its both!
     

  15. She may start as a munter but once she's done full domestics in her knicks and splattered her bowels around the bar she should end up as a slim bint worth a wipe, saves spending out on 10 pints of John Smiths Smooth to achieve the same effect
     


  16. Of course.....the answer was staring me in the face all the time! Please allow for my ignorance. I am but a poor thick as fcuk Dabber!
     
  17. :D LMFAO Quality :lol: :lol: :lol:
     

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