Sexual Deviance & Other Stories

[Rumrat]

Me and another lad who used to post on here (NC) were in a taxi in singers on the way to a hotel with two young ladies on our laps. At the time I am a badge man he either a Junior seaman or an OD, think former.
I know mines real and he thinks his is until he lifts the skirt and goes hand diving. He kicked it out like fuckin lightening and between thrusts me and my real woman laughed like ****. Well we actually was so it was easy.

 

[Blackrat]

Mucker of mine pulled some drunk horror at the infamous Scorpion nightclub in Catterick. She, being a high class kind of girl, informs him that for a pernod and black, she'll suck him off in the karzi. Mucker agrees to this deal and i watch them trot off for a mouth party in the most foul smelling toilets in the world. Two minutes elapse and my mucker comes walking out the of the toilet with a load of chuck all over his lower half. Turns out he forced her head onto his hampton and as his cock hit the back of her throat, her gag reflex kicked in and she razzed all over him. Being the adonis that he was, he left her chucking up in the not to clean cubicle and told her to join him when she'd finished so she could complete the job. The unbelievable thing is, she actually did join him at the bar and then trotted off to crack on again, with his schlong covered in ******* sick. The mind boggles.

 

[Rumrat]

Once upon a time there was this ex matelot who lived next door to a bird who's hubby had played away.
Now most blokes who did this and not get caught would not come home and tell wife, unless you was leaving her.
So twat head tells wife just to rub her nose in it. She accepts it at first and after three weeks tells him to **** off. It is relevant to say the wife was well subjugated by hubby who although could not hold his own with a local 6th grader was hard as **** with women.
So during his absence the wife goes next door at a time when the ex matelots wife was at work ( 2-10) at the bone factory in Nuneaton.
During abandoned wife's telling of tale of woe she breaks down and starts sobbing. Neighbour puts comforting arm around abandoned wife and gives big hug. Hug carries on and abandoned wife starts pressing into hugger and looks up sad and doey eyed.
Snogging commences and out come the puppies.
But time is against them so an arrangement is made for the following night.
At 7.30 abandoned wife enters neighbouring property and at approx 7.45 devoid of under garments the abandoned wife opens her walking apparatus.
Two days later at the home of another ex matelot who is away on holiday and has conveniently left his keys and consent for access the ex matelot and abandoned wife rendezvous.
After a quick G&T and ........the mating ritual commences.
That fuckin bastard she states, I hope he rots in hell. Self pity has now morphed into revenge and the ex matelot is not slow to sense this and turn it to his advantage.
Have you ever been unfaithful before he enquires. No.
Why dont you do everything he wants that you wont give him asks the snake, I mean ex matelot.
Why not the abandoned wife states and some. Fuckin yeah thinks the ex matelot let battle commence.
Do you give him **** he asks. Only twice in 10 years, he hurt me and was fast.
Oh look replies the ex matelot surprised, KY gel.
After liberal amounts are applied the abandoned wife surrenders her pink and tight to the dirty....ex matelot who tenderly and lovingly pounds her ring like the Turkish shelling of Gallipoli.
Will you slap me while you doing it she screams in ecstasy. If you want replies the ex embarrassedly.
Round one.
Two days later the Ex and the abandoned meet again at the appointed hour and holy shit when she enters the bedroom she's a fuckin maid.
Ever played games asks the abandoned? by tonight replies the ex.
The next event was to see a schoolgirl enter the playing field... or bedroom.
Two weeks of sublimity followed and then fuckin horror the wayward hubby returned.
I've let him back states the now reunited.
Why asks the ex.
Money replies the reunited.
Suppose that figures mumbles the dissapointed.
We will carry on says the reunited.
Fuckin great roars the over excited.
And they did for many a moon until novelty went away and routine came to stay.

 

[Bunter]

I was enjoying the favours of a Lady of Easy Virtue in Mallorca. She was Brazilian and had not a word of English, but she asked me via Spanish, a language alien to both of us, to teach her a few English phrases. I was only too keen to oblige and managed to get her word perfect in "Us do be up from Devonshire, moi burd". I hope that her next English client had a nice surprise.

 

[Blackrat]

I was enjoying the favours of a Lady of Easy Virtue in Mallorca. She was Brazilian and had not a word of English, but she asked me via Spanish, a language alien to both of us, to teach her a few English phrases. I was only too keen to oblige and managed to get her word perfect in "Us do be up from Devonshire, moi burd". I hope that her next English client had a nice surprise.

If she was Brazilian, you should have taught her "My cock is bigger than yours".

 

[Bunter]

If she was Brazilian, you should have taught her "My cock is bigger than yours".

The trouble is, it wasn't.

 

[Hermes_R12]

I picked up a beautiful girl in every respect, real top class bit of totty and posh with it. After a couple of dates wining and dining her a shag was definitely going to be on the cards and I took her back to my hotel. I lay on the bed she straddled my face, her stocking clad legs brushing my cheeks and I licked away on her perfumed trimmed pussy for all I was worth in heaven. Just then she let out the loudest smelliest fart, I felt the warm gush of wind from her arse on my neck and chest. She was so embarrassed, she just said in her posh southern voice "Oh my go i'm so sorry, I have never done that before.." with that she scooped up her clothes and ran out of the door. I did try to call her but I never heard from her again.

I was gutted she was a real babe. I didn't mind the fart but what really pissed me off was the fact I never even got to **** her and had spent a fortune on food, wine, hotel etc......

 

[trelawney126]

Hms Malabar, Ireland Island, is situated in the beautiful tropical paradise of Bermuda. Berthed alongside the jetty one balmy Sunday afternoon lay the Rothsay class frigate HMS Plymouth. For reasons of common decency i have ommited the year to protect those involved in this lurid tale.
Picture this,my friends, it's hot, Trelawney having already having reached the dizzy heights was Quartermaster, in sole charge of the ships routine, and a rather recalcitrant boatswains mate, achned and pimpled in was self evident that apart from some self abuse, he had never known the utter delights that the female gender can bring to the solace of such a lonely mariner.
The Master at Arms strode up to flight deck and stated that as he passed the Electricll and MEM's there were strange happenings afoot and would i investigate. Having explained that the Captain was about to leave i sent the boatswains mate to investigate. He still wasn't back some 15 minutes later. MAA then dispatches me to the messdeck.
the messdeck fell silent as i decended the ladder and the only noise to be heard was the chink , chink, of a chain against one of the buggery boards. Supine, with arms above her head lay a 40 year old sun dried female of the American species, who was a guest of the mess, riding atop of this specimen, was my pimple laden boatswains mate. Watching his performance was the LHOM, several mess members and the Killick LMA, who was writing names down on a clipboard.
Grabbing the Boatswains mate by the ears i dragged him off and propelled him out of the messdeck and broke up the party.
Giving the LHOM 10 minutes to get her off the ship.
After a brief period this "thing" arrives on the flight deck, looking equally horrendous in the glaring sun, dressed in a white front,tarten skirt, that barely covered her arse,which was also on full display to anyone who wished to see it.
The captain by this time arrives back onboard as i'm kicking this tart off, turning nonchantly around she smiled at the skipper and said "What a great Fckn boat he had, and what a good fck the crew were.
took some explaining, but in summary, my boatswains mate lost his virginity and became a gobby little shite until his name appeared on the sickbay door along with several others. And best of all , no one got trooped

 

[Rumrat]

Fuckin hell tre, a bit harsh ditching the gash there wasn't you.
I'm afraid if you pulled me off my love I would be obliged to kill you.
Revenge is sweet but a good leg over is indescribable.
Did he kill you in the end?

 

[trelawney126]

No shipmate he had finished the vinegar stroke, and my main concern was getting him back on duty, saving my and everyone elses ate at the time. Certainly took some guile explaining it to the Joss. Did it though, as for the boatswains mate?

 

[Rumrat]

No shipmate he had finished the vinegar stroke, and my main concern was getting him back on duty, saving my and everyone elses ate at the time. Certainly took some guile explaining it to the Joss. Did it though, as for the boatswains mate?

As long as the RAS was complete that's OK.
There's nothing worse than having to part the Jack-stay before the transfer of "Goods" is complete.

 

[Topstop]

This story concerns a brave young back daftie clanky and a debutante at a ships co dance at the Ardencaple hotel on a Saturday night. Later in the evening our hero goes outside and in a quiet corner matters take their course witnessed by a fair proportion of the lads attending.

On the Monday we sail, 3 days out our hero reports sick, the Scablifters examine him in the mess. Not a pretty sight.v Knob swollen, black and a ring of scabs round the base. We surfaced and he was promptly flown off. It turns out that our young "thruster" was in a hurry and the Debutante was reluctant to remove her tights in which there was a small hole, well smaller than hers. With all the movement involved our hero had scored the skin right round the base of his cock with the sharp Nylon of her tights. He did come back onboard but wouldnt show his battle scars, may be it dropped off?