Senior Sergeant Major in the Royal Marines

[Skunkmiester]

A Para dies and is stood at the pearly gates, St Peter comes out to meet him with a clip board, reads down a page and says "You've lived a good life, served your country and died for what you believed in, welcome to heaven.What is your desire?"
The Para looks confused and asks "What do you mean by that?"
St Peter replies" Heaven is what you make of it, What is your idea of heaven?"
" Anywhere there aren't any bloody Royal Marines" comes the reply.
With a wave of his hand St Peter transports them both to a beautiful lake with perfect weather, a beach,snow topped mountains in the distance and beautiful women walking around in bikinis.
" This is perfect, but you are sure there are no bootnecks here?"
" Absolutely" replies St Peter.
Just then they both hear the unmistakeable sound of an outboard motor at full tilt and look across the lake to see a rigid raider skimming across the water driven by a man wearing a green lid.
" You lying bastard!" cries the Para " Of all the people I've met I didn't think you would lie to me, thats's a bloody Royal Marine out there!"
" I didn't lie to you" replies St Peter, "That's not a Royal Marine that's god, he just thinks he's one!"









A Company of the Parachute Regiment were marching down a road when they passed a Royal Marine Commando sat on a 6 foot high wall. Hey paras, he shouted, any 6 of you over the wall now! 6 of the paras jumped over the wall and there was the sound of a major punch up going on. The Royal appeared back on the wall. Hey paras, any 10 of you, over the wall now. 10 paras jumped over the wall and another punch up took place. Back came the Royal again... hey paras , any 15 of you! Over jumped 15 more paras. After a few minutes a para appeared at the top of the wall bleeding and battered, Don't come over here he shouted, it's a trap, there's two of them!!

 

[RAIDER_OF_THE_LOST_CAUSE]

Brills-The old gags are best!

.(.....Drum roll), here all week folks.

 

[sadmann_insane!!]

Who is the senior Regimental Sergeant Major in the Royal Marines? Is it the Corps RSM or the Brigade RSM?

Neither, its the PO of the watch on deck. lol

...can't really see the PO presenting himself to either of the green lidded gentlemen to press his case tho'

Imagine the PO presenting himself to Corp RSM Roger Tinson MBE anyone?

 

[dondon]

A Para dies and is stood at the pearly gates, St Peter comes out to meet him with a clip board, reads down a page and says "You've lived a good life, served your country and died for what you believed in, welcome to heaven.What is your desire?"
The Para looks confused and asks "What do you mean by that?"
St Peter replies" Heaven is what you make of it, What is your idea of heaven?"
" Anywhere there aren't any bloody Royal Marines" comes the reply.
With a wave of his hand St Peter transports them both to a beautiful lake with perfect weather, a beach,snow topped mountains in the distance and beautiful women walking around in bikinis.
" This is perfect, but you are sure there are no bootnecks here?"
" Absolutely" replies St Peter.
Just then they both hear the unmistakeable sound of an outboard motor at full tilt and look across the lake to see a rigid raider skimming across the water driven by a man wearing a green lid.
" You lying bastard!" cries the Para " Of all the people I've met I didn't think you would lie to me, thats's a bloody Royal Marine out there!"
" I didn't lie to you" replies St Peter, "That's not a Royal Marine that's god, he just thinks he's one!"









A Company of the Parachute Regiment were marching down a road when they passed a Royal Marine Commando sat on a 6 foot high wall. Hey paras, he shouted, any 6 of you over the wall now! 6 of the paras jumped over the wall and there was the sound of a major punch up going on. The Royal appeared back on the wall. Hey paras, any 10 of you, over the wall now. 10 paras jumped over the wall and another punch up took place. Back came the Royal again... hey paras , any 15 of you! Over jumped 15 more paras. After a few minutes a para appeared at the top of the wall bleeding and battered, Don't come over here he shouted, it's a trap, there's two of them!!

Fxxxxxxxg brilliant ,

 

[Royal6]

The Exalted RSM Conway is indeed the Corps RSM. Nothing to do with that - but in light of the stuff above, another joke about Royal.

A successful businessman was asassinated by a jealous rival and left everything to his devoted and beautiful wife.
She was a very good-looking woman, but was nervous about being killed by her dead husband's enemies, so she decided to hire a bodyguard
Two men applied for the job. One was smart looking ex–Royal Marine and the other a tough looking ex-Para with LOVE and HATE tatoos on his knuckles.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the ex-Marine, figuring he would be more acceptable and less obtrusive at the social functions she attended.
He proved to be extremely competent, put in long hours every day and knew a lot about security measures, bodyguard protection as well as having good manners. Things were going well. Then one day, the widow said to the ex-Marine, "You have done a really good job, I feel incredibly safe now in my own house, safe enough to be left on my own. You should go into town and have a night out."
The ex- marine agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o’clock and no sign of him. He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my stockings." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

 

[sadmann_insane!!]

Royal 6, You may not remember Corps RSM Roger Tinson MBE but he put the s*its up most!

 

[oldseadog]

It is the Corps RSM

Bone question CWO Mustang.

A 'bone' question for a Royal Marine but a sensible one for a US Navy CWO. What role does the Corps RSM have in the Royal Marines?

He acts as God , 8)

Corretion, HE IS GOD (God just thinks he's the Corps RSM!) :lol:

Correction - God is allowed to speak with the Corps RSM ..... Sometimes!

OSD

 

[thebus]

This post got a bit out of hand, What with god getting mixed up with a sensible question. How about taking it one step further abd asking whi you think was the best RSM in recent the recent Corps? I would nominate JACK FRENCH closley followed by MAURICE RUFF. Any other suggestions and maybe a few reasons why? :wink:

 

[London]

The Exalted RSM Conway is indeed the Corps RSM. Nothing to do with that - but in light of the stuff above, another joke about Royal.

http://www.royal-navy.mod.uk/img/navy/ConMediaFile/rnimage.php?mainImage=LY06_257D_126.jpg&width=1024

 

[nutty_bag]

The Exalted RSM Conway is indeed the Corps RSM. Nothing to do with that - but in light of the stuff above, another joke about Royal.

http://www.royal-navy.mod.uk/img/navy/ConMediaFile/rnimage.php?mainImage=LY06_257D_126.jpg&width=1024

PMSL Get you hair cut lofty!!

 

[chancer68]

That will be Eric Coway MBE

 

[Seadog]

It was Eric Conway (pre MBE) on page 1 of this thread too.