Selection 3

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by The_Caretaker, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?


    - She moans with the other.
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    Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

    - So people can read her lips.

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    What's brown and has holes in it?


    - Swiss Shit.
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    Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?


    - Neither did he.
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    What's blue and sings alone?


    - Dan Ackroyd.
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    What's the best present to get for a dead baby?


    - A dead puppy.
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    Whats blue and doesn't fit any more?


    - A dead epileptic.
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    Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?

    It's for the Christmas period.

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    Q. How can you tell when your wife is dead?

    A. The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up

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    Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her.

    "Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

    A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked.

    "Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

    "What was that?" the others asked her.

    "It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

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    What do you call Chinese Branch Davidians?


    Rice Krispies.
     

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