Selection 3

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?


- She moans with the other.
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Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

- So people can read her lips.

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What's brown and has holes in it?


- Swiss Shit.
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Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?


- Neither did he.
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What's blue and sings alone?


- Dan Ackroyd.
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What's the best present to get for a dead baby?


- A dead puppy.
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Whats blue and doesn't fit any more?


- A dead epileptic.
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Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

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Q. How can you tell when your wife is dead?

A. The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up

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Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her.

"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."

A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked.

"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.

"What was that?" the others asked her.

"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

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What do you call Chinese Branch Davidians?


Rice Krispies.