The_Caretaker
War Hero
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
- She moans with the other.
..........................................................................................
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
- So people can read her lips.
...........................................................................................
What's brown and has holes in it?
- Swiss Shit.
.............................................................................................
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
- Neither did he.
...........................................................................................
What's blue and sings alone?
- Dan Ackroyd.
...........................................................................................
What's the best present to get for a dead baby?
- A dead puppy.
.........................................................................................
Whats blue and doesn't fit any more?
- A dead epileptic.
...........................................................................................
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?
It's for the Christmas period.
............................................................................................
Q. How can you tell when your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up
...........................................................................................
Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."
A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"
........................................................................................
What do you call Chinese Branch Davidians?
Rice Krispies.
- She moans with the other.
..........................................................................................
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
- So people can read her lips.
...........................................................................................
What's brown and has holes in it?
- Swiss Shit.
.............................................................................................
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
- Neither did he.
...........................................................................................
What's blue and sings alone?
- Dan Ackroyd.
...........................................................................................
What's the best present to get for a dead baby?
- A dead puppy.
.........................................................................................
Whats blue and doesn't fit any more?
- A dead epileptic.
...........................................................................................
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?
It's for the Christmas period.
............................................................................................
Q. How can you tell when your wife is dead?
A. The sex is the same but the dishes start to pile up
...........................................................................................
Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy."
A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"
........................................................................................
What do you call Chinese Branch Davidians?
Rice Krispies.
