Seeing as its Valentines day


War Hero
Be my Valentine?

I got a card and some choccies for Valentines Day. The chocolate shaped
hearts travelled all the way from CHINA FFS! (That's what it said on the
bottom of the box *Made In China*). But Valentines Day got me wondering.
Why is it that everything, but EVERYTHING appertaining to l-u-r-v-e seems
to concentrate on only one internal human organ? (i.e. - the heart)?????
I mean - the rest of your inside gristly bits must be getting really hacked
off what with being totally ignored every fu**ing year. They deserve a bit
of recognition as well y'know.
So - with that in mind, I've come up with a sort of "top ten" l-u-r-v-e songs
that give all those pulsating gooey parts that have been side-lined for so
long the recognition they deserve:-

(1). I left my lungs in San Francisco
(2). Total eclipse of the bladder
(3). Don't go breaking my colon
(4). Love me with all of your liver
(5). Anyone who had a spleen
(6). Zing went the strings of my pancreas
(7). My rectum belongs to daddy
(8 ). Unchain my urethra
(9). Somethings got a hold of my gall bladder
(10). Intestines of glass

They should make a romantic CD of this lot and we can put it on just
before sitting down to a nice meal for two when the kids are in bed,
although when Marilyn Monroe comes on singing Number 7 - I think
the romantic interlude could be shattered by me spitting black forest
gateau all over the dining room table.

* * * * * *


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Oh **** it. If you can't beat them....

Roses are red,
Ivy is twisted,
Bend over love,
You're gonna get fisted.

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