Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

'Saved' White House turkey defects to ISIS


War Hero
Pardoned White House Turkey Defects to ISIS

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Senior U.S. officials are literally calling “fowl” after the Thanksgiving turkey pardoned by President Obama publicly defected to the Middle Eastern terrorist group ISIS.

Popcorn the Turkey, now calling himself Babakurn al-Turki, was pardoned from the dinner table only yesterday by President Obama in a public ceremony at the White House. Normally the pardoned bird is sent along with its competitor to live out its remaining days at Morven Park’s Turkey Hill in Leesburg, Virginia.

However, U.S. officials have now admitted that al-Turki instead hijacked an Osprey out of Andrews Air Force Base in nearby Maryland and flew like a bat out of hell to Syria.

A group of senior intelligence officials and ornithologists with birds-eye surveillance of the war-torn country have suggested he is nesting in Raqqah or across the northern border in another neighboring country.

Al-Turki, who was originally raised as an animist before converting to Islam, has already appeared in several propaganda clips and tweets for ISIS, gobbling anti-American rhetoric and leaving furious American officials grousing.

Trey Nahas, a counter-terrorism expert at the Rand Corporation, explained that al-Turki’s defection violated the cardinal rule for anyone receiving a presidential pardon, namely not to commit any further crimes.

Nahas said it was unclear if al-Turki, raised in a bubble of protected affluence in Oakwood, Ohio, became radicalized on internet forums like countless other disaffected foreigners who have flocked to ISIS, or later during his detention in the controversial poultry farm at Guantanamo Bay.

In either case, according to Nahas, the end result was the same: “the U.S. not only released a dangerous terrorist back into the wild, but it has also given ISIS something to crow about on social media.”

Calling it the classic case of the chickens come home to roast, FBI Director James Comey has admitted that al-Turki was already a known flight risk when he received his pardon. He had several suspected handlers known to support radical Islam and ISIS, although al-Turki managed to duck any formal charges.

Comey added that the FBI has launched its own investigation into the government’s handling of al-Turki prior to his release, saying it may be the canary in the coal mine for future detainee defections. However, several investigators privately told Duffel Blog that the findings would be delayed until after Black Friday to avoid ruffling the feathers of any major retailers.

While Comey said U.S. intelligence was still unsure where exactly al-Turki now stood in the ISIS pecking order, he insisted that the turkey would ultimately be more of a burden than an asset to the group.

“He’s too high profile now to operate anywhere clandestinely, he’s always going to be an albatross around their neck,” Comey explained. “I’m not exaggerating when I say his goose is cooked.”

Some critics find that hard to swallow.

Rep. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) of the House Armed Services Committee has already demanded to know “which birdbrain in the Secret Service” allowed such a dangerous avian to be that close to the president, and said that image “should give all of us goosebumps.”

The Wall Street Journal published its own editorial complaining that Al-Turki’s defection is “just one more feather in the cap of ISIS. Not only did this bird strut around the White House like he was cock of the walk, but as soon as he’s pardoned he flies the coop to join ISIS of all groups. What was our lame duck president thinking?”

Ironically, some news reports are circulating that, after being accused by ISIS of being a double-agent for the Mossad or CIA, al-Turki may end up getting beheaded anyway.


War Hero
Super Moderator
Can I just clarify - are you still chuckling now, 6 years after it was posted, or just found it and guffawed?

And on re-reading it - yes, it is still funny.
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS 588 more arts organisations saved by £76 million in latest Culture Recovery Fund grants MoD News 0
MoD_RSS 445 heritage organisations saved by £103 million investment from Government MoD News 0
C Saved post drafts Site Issues 6
MoD_RSS Grassroots Music venues to be saved by government cash MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Thousands of hours in delays to be saved as UK’s first mainline digital railway introduced MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Thousands sign up to Help to Save to earn 50p for every £1 saved MoD News 0
MoD_RSS “HS2 saved our wedding!” MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Much-loved coastal heritage assets to be saved with almost £1 million of Coastal Revival Fund MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Thousands of fish saved from salt water during tidal surge MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Nomination for Coastguard Rescue Teams who saved a life on St Kilda MoD News 0
soleil Express: "Royal Marines Cuts U-Turn: 1,500 Troops And Assault Vessels Saved" The Corps 9
MoD_RSS News story: Defence Minister announces £3M to be saved as part of a new deal to supply the... MoD News 0
soleil Pomepy News: "Praise For Navy Brothers Who Saved Woman's Life" Bases / Shore Est 0
soleil Pompey News: "Award For Policewoman Who Saved Royal Navy Sailor" Bases / Shore Est 2
soleil Sunday Telegraph: "How WW1 Sailor Saved His Life By Laying It Down For A Friend" History 1
MoD_RSS News story: Wounded officer and medic who saved him both awarded MC MoD News 1
trelawney126 Saved by our gallant boys in Crabfat Blue Diamond Lil's 6
soleil Western Morning News: "Commendation For Officer Who Saved Man's Life" Bases / Shore Est 0
tentoes Oh the hours I could have saved, had I known. The Corps 3
T HMS Caroline may yet be saved Current Affairs 0
soleil Sun: "Ark To Be Saved For Gibraltar" The Fleet 1
thereverend Just saved £51.40 Diamond Lil's 29
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp Mayday! Saved by Royal Navy Current Affairs 7
soleil "Supporters' joy as HMS Victory's future is saved" Bases / Shore Est 16
RonJeremy Dwarf saved by chihuahua Diamond Lil's 14
T Cutty Sark saved by private donation by Israeli citizen History 2
B Safety Device Could Have Saved Lives The Fleet Air Arm 24
MoD_RSS Northumberland river users asked to help protect white-clawed crayfish MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Statement on Social Housing White Paper MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Mark White becomes UK’s second Groceries Code Adjudicator MoD News 0
BreechSpike White rank slides ? The Fleet 10
MoD_RSS Lord Chancellor’s Speech: White Paper Launch - A Smarter Approach to Sentencing MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Mark White appointed as new Groceries Code Adjudicator MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Syria: Minister for Middle East meets Chairman of White Helmets MoD News 0
slim Sikh couple barred from adopting white child due to ‘cultural heritage’ Current Affairs 18
MoD_RSS Northumberland launches strategy to protect white-clawed crayfish MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Project to protect native White-clawed crayfish in Derbyshire MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Letter from Jeremy Wright to Sharon White MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Nottinghamshire project to protect native white-clawed crayfish MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Jeremy Wright speaking at the launch of the Online Harms White Paper MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Speech: Home Secretary launches Online Harms White Paper MoD News 0
slim Should the average white person apologise for Slavery? Diamond Lil's 26
Stirlin Swimming with Great White Shark. Diamond Lil's 7
MoD_RSS Press release: Foreign Secretary meets leader of the Syrian White Helmets MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Pioneering solutions to defence and security challenges to be explored at White City MoD News 0
O When is the white mess dress jacket worn? The Quarterdeck 16
BillyNoMates Big white ships. International 6
rn458scc The White Laundry marker question - I think I have the answer..well maybe Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 9
soleil Mail: 'History In Black And White: WWI Vessels To Be Repainted In 'Dazzle Camouflage' History 1
F Independence white paper defence years 1 to 5 Current Affairs 0
Similar threads

Latest Threads