Santa Claus

Ok just returned from a heated debate which nearly came to blows.

Mainly from the mates kids when I told them Santa was dead due to the workload from the factories in China.

Tell me to feck off if you wish but will the big red cloaked grey bearded guy with the sack be around this year.

Myself I was told Santa was killed in a lift in Littlewoods stores in Liverpool few years back hence feck all for the last few years and I have been sorta good. Loada crap if you ask me.

I do know there are many here who know different with being on the ARCTIC AND MOUNTAIN WARFARE COURSE you must have seen the red cloaked guy doing his pre start checks for Christmas.

Lots of little people here waiting for your answer. Including the nephew!

 

Lol and this has what to do with Royal Navy newbie-information?

 

when i go operational, I do logisitics.......I am one of santa's naval agents. the ol guy is still operational, in fact the govrnment is looking into licencing the rights to santa's sliegh for military air lift capability, obviously not over the xmas period.
unlimited lift capability, STOL and unlimited range along with unlimited high speed and time freezing capability.
it is understood that the RAF are very, very intrested

If you are in doubt and you are deployed at the mo, check with your nearest friendly ATC/ATLO on arrangements for air clearance over your theatre. you will be looking for flight SANTA101.

enjoy,

 

Backpacker, read my 'sticky' at the top of Current Affairs. It tells you what Current Affairs is about... and it isn't this.

Moved to Lil's.

 

Trouble is from the military perspectinve, he's not particularly stealthy; every year NORAD pick up his tracks and display them on the web for the world to see!

 

ah our american cousins.....bless, ever alert to defend the free world....

on the question of stealth this is not an issue of course he's stealthy, it's just that he has IFF transponder which is why we know to look for SANTA101...........

 

Santa even came to my ship once. The Bosuns' mate of the watch even piped him aboard:
"Now on board the USS John F Kennedy: Santa, arriving!"

Made a good landing, too. Heavy sea, and a pitching deck, and still snagged a 3-wire. Born Naval Aviator.

(My present was a little disappointing, though: A MK-76 25lb practice bomb, wrapped in red ribbon. Had to give it back for a drop-ex 2 days later )

 

Did you get to sit on his knee, Bootneck?

 

Nah, I had desk-duty in the ready-room. But I did catch a glimpse of him.
He looked alot like the flight deck Bosun. Maybe they're related.

 

He probably won't get into the States unless he's had his fingerprints and iris scan added to his passport. (Unless he goes over the Mexico border)

 

Santa ain't goin' nowhere....!! here he is in my shed at the bottom of the garden and i ain't letting him out till i get paid the ransom!! :twisted: :twisted:

 

right we need all the booty commandos and all the (ssssssh!) SF types to launch an imediate, rpt imediate rescue mission......

santa is being held hostage in stripey_g's shed we need him back otherwise no prezzies.............

go, go, go!

 

Case of rum is all i'm asking..to be delivered at a place nominated by me.
(and NO booties or ssssssh types, or Santa gets it!!!) :x

 

it's too late........they've been launched........you see that bush over there?.... no? well there you go..... that bush that you can't see is the covert o/p......your only hope is to distract them with either naked ladies or kebabs........or to stop all this silliness hand santa back.....your call.

 

No way...calling yer bluff..and now i've managed to cram six reindeer in with him too..so now the ransom is TWO cases of rum....running out of thime you know!!?? :evil: :evil:

 

D'you here there - Christmas presents this year will be delivered from a garden shed occupied by Santa and pulled by six of his reindeer rather than the usual sleigh - the reduction in the number of reindeer has been achieved through natural wastage (the Christmas turkey will be replaced by reindeer steaks this year).

We apologise for the unusual method of delivery, however Santa's sleigh entered a civvy dockyard for DED earlier this year - serious faults were discovered and the decision was taken to undertake a full refit; this has since been subject to price over-runs and increasing delays. 'S'all.

 

I have just been informed the police rapid response santa protection squad has been activated and will be with you sometime over the next 2-3 days.......and could they give you and incident number please?......just in case they can't get to you?

 

They can give me all the numbers they want!!!...just want the rum as asked for..gave Santa one phone call (as per procedures) and he's called Mrs Santa to say that he will be "late" (shame!). My cat is now eyeing up the captive reindeer....... :evil: :evil:

 

Hello zero this is charlie one one alpha.......Santa's location has been identified, waiting for clearance over"
I've "stood to" all of my oppos into a holding area nearby with a no move before 22:00 hrs tonight. A police covert O.P has revealed that santa's little helpers are in fact blonde 18 year old females in scantilty dressed costumes feeding santa chocolates and sitting on his knee. santa doesn't in fact look too concerned about being kidnapped as my sources on the ground revealed that he has a tot of rum and is singing sea shanties with said blonde individuals!! :lol: :lol:

 

Could I have the reindeer poo please? Hear it is excellent for the garden x