Run Ashore

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by The_Jimmy, Oct 11, 2008.

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  1. This story was told to me over a few convivial ales by an old salt and I have no reason to doubt the veracity of his tale.

    Jolly Jack was in New York and decided he would have a culture run (nothing wrong with that). Anyway he gets dressed up in his three piece Hong Kong suit (shiney variety) and off he goes. I must say that he impressed the hell out of the Officer of the Day.
    He looks in museums/art gallerys and local points of interest. By this time he feels in need of sustanence. He looks across the road and there before him was this magnificent edifice - The Warldorf Astoria Hotel (bit flash - but Jolly Jack is well dressed - according to his standards). In he goes - discovers that one of the restaurants is having an Italian special on the menu which was in keeping with his modest budget. Into the lift - sorry Elevator - and ascends to his floor where the restaurant is located. He is soon seated and menu in hand. Eventually he orders the "special of the day" and a small carafe of wine. Service is very good. Wine arrives - taste test - OK. Meal arrives - redolent of lashings of garlic and other herbs and spices. He enjoys his meal with the wine. Very satisified and the price did not put too much of a dent in his modest budget. He actually left a tip. Exit from the restaurant and into the elevator - presses the Lobby button and off he goes. However, he feels the need to release some body gases that have built up during the meal. He lets one go - a real beauty - make your eyes water. He is content. Anyway the Lobby approaches and he is standing in front of the doors waiting to exit. Doors open - two couples attired in dinner jackets and long evening wear are waiting to enter the elevator. Jolly Jack exits the elevator and commences walking briskely through the Lobby. The two couples enter the lift and all he heard from behind him was ARRGH - OH MY GAWD - he did not turnaround or look but proceeded onto the foothpath where he burst into laughter, attracting some odd stares from the locals.
    Moral of the Story - Don't wear Hong Kong suits.
  2. Spam spam spam spam.

    If you want to up some jokes, why not do it in the effing JOKES SECTION!
  3. LAMRI me old son where the fcuk is the joke section? is it all @LAMRI .con?
  4. Funny guy, why not try searching for it?
    Too lazy??
    In that case, click the bit that says "JOKES SECTION" in my previous post. You MAY have noticed that it is a different colour to the rest.
    Go on, try it :roll:

    And in future, don't spam the site.
  5. So it is mate thanks for that...I take it you dont like my jokes then?
  6. I don't like the site being spammed.
  7. Ok quite right am just a dumb colonial who didnt know the rules....caps on quick march to the jokes section....
  8. Really mate, theres a seperate thread where you post this tedious bollocks to your hearts content. While you are doing that you are welcome to try and think of something relevant to say.
  9. Right'o clanky I got the message!
  10. It says hes only just joined - don't be so harsh, everyone makes mistakes, even you lot! Patience is a virtue (ducks and awaits incoming).
  11. Are you telling me that when you joined, you didn't have a good look around the site to see what was what?
    Hmm, it was one of the first things I did.
  12. Of course I had a good look round - actually you are quite correct, kick his arse. lol
  13. Lammers FFS this is DLs, very little or no moderation and almost anything goes. So a dit or two is well within the remit of this section. Or has the title of Moderator gone to your head?
    The guy is hardly spamming the site by spinning a dit.
    Look after your own section and leave the DL Mods to look after there section.
    Rant Over.
  14. Just edited to add:
    How come you didn't jump up and down when these were put on the site?

    I do not see much difference in the content of any of the postings, they are all jokes. It seems to me that the jokes section is very rarely used and may as well be ditched. :toilet:

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