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RUM RATION Stool Chart


Anyone seen the bristol stool chart on the wikipedia?, We have our own one now alongside ARRSE! :grin:

We should have our own wiki too.
I third the RR wiki motion... ooooh hold on... uuuugh...uuuuuugggggghhhhhh..... ah, that's better! Carry on guys! :lol:

We'd better not let Rosie see these stools or there'll be verbal bum rush splattered all over the Quarterdeck and beyond... :wink:


War Hero
LOL,i use this chart everyday in my job.I sell Laxatives to GP's.There is also a Kiddies version with suitable descriptions!LOL
Jimmy_Green said:
What about the type that contains sweetcorn?

My mate had ducks and he also had dogs, that ate a mixture containing sweetcorn and corn etc.

He spotted his ducks one day eating the poo poo with the sweetcorn still visible.

He often wondered why the eggs had that unique taste.


War Hero
Wee Biology lesson:Sweet Corn is high in Cellulose,which is undigestable by the Human body,thats why Rabbits have huge long Appendixes(where cellulose eating bacteria live).As a result the pass through unchanged,its only when the corn kernel has been chewed and broken that the contents are used as fuel by the body.So really you could just buy a single can of Sweet Corn and recycle it.Bargain or what?LOL
andym said:
LOL,i use this chart everyday in my job.I sell Laxatives to GP's.There is also a Kiddies version with suitable descriptions!LOL

So come on then Andy, lets have the spiel about that clinical characteristics of each type of turd (sorry fæces) and what they represent... :lol: Just for Josie's sake... :wink: ...and of course for Rosie when she reaches this page...
does anybody have a copy of the renalnoise scale - a grading system of poo according to how much effort/grunt/whimper that is required to pass.

i think 1 was sit down, gravity takes effect, wipe, stand up -

through to

10 sit down, push, blood, episiotemy (ask a mother if unsure), lots more blood, razorblades passing through your canal, the smallest lump of depleted uranium breaking the pann
Jenny_Dabber said:
RumRation in the Arrse wiki, I started this way back in Feb, start adding guys!

As for an RR one, pitch it to Bad_CO or one of the Mods and we'll see what we can do.
Farkin wikipedia, I was looking for some stuff for my web page the other day, and typed a search in wiki and fark me if my picture wasn't in a collage of images on the front page, a picture of mine no less and I have absolutely no idea how it got there. This is the 2nd time this picture has appeared on a website without my knowledge.
Let's hope there wont be a turd............. gettit?
Taxi for Ling.
i must disagree - the chart goes up to 8 or 7a, i can personally vouch for a grade 10 - watermelon shit or a birthing poo, the sort where you want to scrape it out of the bowl wrap in a towel and present to its happy parents
:shock: Did anyone ever play that game of 'Freckles' where someone produced a turd, the soggier the better, placed it in the middle of a table or similar, piss or beer or whatever was added to make it all nice and runny, the chaps then placed their chins at the edge of the table, heads facing towards the said pile of turd, someone shouts 'Freckles' and slaps the underside of his hand in amongst the turd, you can just picture the result I trust ? I believe it was a sludgemariners game but hijacked by us skimmers when extremely shitfaced. Such fun:cool:
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