Rum Ration News

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by witsend, Nov 18, 2011.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Good evening. Tonights evening news is brought to you by witsend.

    Top story. Royal Marine does a runner after getting his end away. An unknown Royal has duped an unsuspecting virgin in what is being tagged 'dirty rotten scoundrel'. Information is sought to identify this hero.

    Sgtpepperpig of the RN's Keystone cop branch is warning users to be on their gaurd due to the increase in internet sockpuppets. He warned "They are becoming more cleverer each day. Most of them are known members outted as mongs. These mongs then assume the identity of another mong which is a bizarre identity ruse".

    In health news it's being confirmed that 'Billynomates' has caught the disease Hommoitus after spending too much time hanging around that thingy thing over on the dark side of the internet. The big boss 'BCO' is said to be concerned about the spread of 'Hommoitus'. He commented "Normally BMN's posts links to phots, but this posting of cock shots is worrying".

    Defence news and this week the question 'Is it really that bad?' popped up. Fleet sprog on one side commenting the navy is on the bones of its arse and Monty on the other saying take a closer look at the benefits. Defence expert admiralsfluffer sat on the fence and blamed student life.

    Arts news and seafarer1939 is looking for funding to digitally enhance his 1965 9mm honeymoon flick. Entitled 'Bonking on Brighton beach' this rarely seen classic was a trailblazer for films such as 'Debbie does Dallas' and 'Animal farm'.

    Charity news and Chicojiz is on the march. London to Edinburgh in August, 400 miles in 14 days for H4H. The public appear to be sceptical after his last claim about rejoining the RN as a chef. It could be make or break for the young man.

    Sports news and the RNFT dominates the headlines. This reporter says "Fuck off cunts".

    The weather is brought to you by Blackrat sponsored by Black Maskers. "All quiet above RR UK. Some slight dribbling from the mongs over New Zealand. Expect next week to be unsettled".
  2. STOP PRESS.............Witsend sued by HigPig for plagiarism.
  3. Now that is a newsflash, HigthePig? To paraphrase my nephew's hero:

    "LOL, WTF? Thought he was dead!"
  4. And where the fuck is Rumrat, any news on him?
  5. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer


    This reporter has tried to cross the border, but it seems his passport has been revoked.


    After some negotiating and back handers, access was gained.

    Special report.

    It still smells like piss.The ship spotters are still spotting ships they have never served on or ever seen. crawshaw is still bigging it up surrounded by more seatime (Standfast the Doc) than Nelson.

    This reporter is out!
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2011
  6. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Rum Rat News - enough to force one to buy the Daily Heil or The Scum for real news! (and tits)

    Yeah, this is a newspaper where are the pictures of tits/bazookas/melons/with strawberry ripples sticking out! ?

    Standards are rapidly dropping in the Andrew.
  7. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    I imagine the auld cunt couldn't print them that fast as they sold.

    I hope I'm wrong but, but I hope he's not coughed it.
  8. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    To post a news story here have we got to be like proper journo's and get all the facts straight etc or can we just make shit up?
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Good to see they're still giving the public what they want. :sleepy2:
    I logged off permanently when Andy rejected my suggestion of a death pool for site members who'd passed out of Ganges or St Vincent.*

    *Before anyone gets their knicks in a wotsit, I never did. Still it's not a bad idea.:slow:
  10. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I always thought those who went to Ganges were Bernados kids.
  11. I understood it was either Borstal or Ganges at the Magistrates discretion, still everydays a school day so thanks for the gen.:-D
  12. Latest news from NZ......The headlines.
    Shock Horror!!! Logging driver doesn't kill a cyclist this week!
    Beer, fags, sausages, chips, icecream, that new fangled McDonalds burger thingy and lard all bad for health claims crackpot scientist!
    Incest is it really all that bad?
    Digital TV, will it mean the end of our beloved Black and White Minstrels Show?
    And on our opinion page...Sheep shagging and metrosexualism any common ground?
  13. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Necrophilia. Think inside the box.
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Ah, I see you subscribe to that august journal 'Funeral Directors jugs, fanny,arse and pixilated faces monthly' too. Good man.
  15. Barnardos were very good to me after my parents were killed in a car crash when I was five.
    They made sure I was looked after properly and helped me to enter Ganges at fifteen.
    Ganges sorted me out for life.

    D Wing
  16. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Nah, there was a German there called fritz and a spick called carlos that Bernardo the eyetie shared them with.
  17. I saw that study. I immediately unsubscribed to that journal for running articles clearly based on lies, misleading information and obviously paid for by some nanny-state group.
  18. Similar as he faces a hanging when he reappears for being AWOL X3.
  19. Nah it was three meals a day and electricity that did it for me, biggest hurdle was waiting for my old man to sober up and sign the papers.
  20. It was the chance to get the fuck out of an army town did it for me.

Share This Page