Rules to live life by

We've already had these:

But I'm sure the rest of you can suggest some guidelines for a more comfortable or interesting life.

 

If it smells like fish eat it

 

It's only gay if you look back over your shoulder and lick your lips.

 

Don't be first
Don't be last

 

Always, whenever you get the chance to kill a chav, take it!

 

or if you push back

 

Er no, pushing back is just polite.

 

As you appear to be an expert - what's your position on the reacharound? Common courtesy or a step too far?

 

I guess it depends on the part of the country you live in then. :lol:

 

The old stokers rule
If it doesn't move and it should WD40 it
If it does move and it should'nt Duck tape it (or for some of you. chloroform it) :wink:

 

Or if you marry them in a civil ceremony.

 

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck.

 

Never volunteer for anything!!!

 

Always deny everything

If you can't deny it, blame someone else

 

Sol,you are so sweet.
It actually goes like this
If it looks like shit , smells like shit, tastes like shit it probably is shit :lol:

 

Which reminds me:

You can't polish a turd but you can dip it in glitter!

 

Never pass up a fuck.

Always have a pay as you go sim available.

Never stay down.

 

On a similar theme:

If you smack a dog enough times it will stop shitting.

 

"It aint necessarily so!"