Rouge poo won't flush!

#1
First night at a mans friend house and had to have a nervous poo, risky I know but he has popped out to the shop to get some fatty snacks etc- so I smugly saw this as a prime opportunity to have one.

However the bastard won't flush! I have about 20 mins before he returns and trying to go through my options.

1) try and liberate it from the bowl, this runs the risk of being caught brown handed but also how does one dispose of the evidence?

2) deny all knowledge and cover with some toilet paper, try to think of a convincing theory such as reports from other houses of things coming back up the pipes hours after flushing.

3) do a shit and run.

I know this isnt ladylike but I bet some of you filthers have some good tips, SOS!
 
#4
Picking it out is a plan, worried that fragments from the wreckage might make their way on to me though. The toothbrush idea is a good one, but he has one of those posho electric jobs, I knew he was too classy for me- why couldn't he have a wilko saver pack stashed away :( the time is nearly nigh, hoping that the toilet has had time to settle and will flush any moment now. The only saving grace is that he lives alone, otherwise his mum might question why I have been in there so long.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#9
Must admit, under similar circumstances, my first instinct wouldn't have been to use my mobile to solve a plumbing & social etiquette query on Rum Ration.

A call to the Fire Brigade & uploading a photo onto Facebook to update one's status, would've been more sensible.
 

Guns

War Hero
Moderator
#12
Hot water poured in the bowl will clear most blockages. Best boiling from a kettle. It softens up the blockage.

Due to the crap plumbing n Canada I regularly have to do this.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#16
Just goes to show. Even the "well educated" can be uncouth, pissed and unable to spell rogue, eh?

I feel sorry for the romantic suitor who was half hoping he would return from the chippy to find a naked girl in his bed, only to find four blokes in breathing apparatus, a blocked bog, a video of a floating turd on his Facebook page which has gone viral with all his mates lolling at him and a TV news crew outside his flat.
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
First night at a mans friend house and had to have a nervous poo, risky I know but he has popped out to the shop to get some fatty snacks etc- so I smugly saw this as a prime opportunity to have one.

However the bastard won't flush! I have about 20 mins before he returns and trying to go through my options.

1) try and liberate it from the bowl, this runs the risk of being caught brown handed but also how does one dispose of the evidence?

2) deny all knowledge and cover with some toilet paper, try to think of a convincing theory such as reports from other houses of things coming back up the pipes hours after flushing.

3) do a shit and run.

I know this isnt ladylike but I bet some of you filthers have some good tips, SOS!
One can only assume that the age old expression ~~"Slack arsed mare" was coined for such a person!
 

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