Ronnie Barker


Book Reviewer

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970's.
Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger,
Though God knows after how many takes..

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds.

This is the story of Rindercella and her Sugly Isters.

Rindercella and her Sugly Isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors,
Emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The Sugly Isters were right bugly astards..

One was called Mary Hinge, the other was called Betty Swallocks;
They were really forrible huckers;
They had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.

The Sugly Isters had tickets to go to the ball,
But the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang !!!!!!,
And her gairy fodmother appeared.

Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.

She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage
With six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
There would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince
When suddenly the clock struck twelve..

"Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella,
And she ran out tripping
Barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door
And the sugly isters let him in..

Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig Bart.

"Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince..
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted,
He tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success
And their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince
a knack in the kickers.

This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married.

The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury,
And Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!




War Hero
Not only a myth, done to death on RR, at least 5 threads. Use the search engine.

There is internet film of everyone but RB doing something like it.


War Hero
Written by Ronnie but Jim Davidson does it too. Seen him do it twice, once at a charity do with the Marquess of Northampton and the other time at a show. He made the same mistake at the same point both times with much, pretend, blushing and farting.