IMHO neither ,as none of us (serving) have ever worn wavy lace. We were granted straight lace in recognition of our efforts and as such should wear the standard RN officers tie. As I recall a previous Commodore attempted to resolve this but nothing came of it. Sad this is the only thing I remember him for!
But you're not in the old RNR either, and you don't wear interwoven wavy lace. I am a List 3 naval volunteer reservist, my unit was founded as an RNVR unit, and when we celebrated RNR100 it was the 100th anniversary of the founding of the RNVR (1903), not the RNR (1859).
Perhaps we will celebrate RNR150 in 2009 and again in 2053?
I agree if we wear straight lace we should wear a staight-striped tie, especially if we end up losing the Rs.
Here is my version. The three ties; RN. RNR. RNVR, are navy blue with red and white stripes on. The style of the stripes reflects the stripes worn by the three different "branches" of the Naval Service. Straight for the RN, interwoven for the RNR and wavy for the RNVR. When I joined a northern unit all the officers wore the RNVR tie so I did, the older ones had been in the RNVR any way. Other units started to wear the RNR tie, for obvious reasons. To day, to avoid upsetting any one, I wear an RN tie. I am ex RN.
The Commodore you refer to Is Cdre Pemberton. Prince Michael asked him to find out which tie he should wear. I believe Prince Michael wears an RNR tie. However, the last seagoing CL1, Cdre Bradford insisted that the RNR tie should only be worn by List 1s!
Perhaps the time has come for a new tie. An RN one with straight stripes and an R inbetween them. Though perhaps that idea will be very short lived.
As for the RN(V)R 100 tie, I thought that was most unsuitable. Silver was the colour of braid worn by the RNAV. So I never got one. Sorry Sir!