Ripping off a Howler!

What's the RR secret of dropping a howling ripper?
I've been married 49 years and she still has ears like a bat.
I've tried coughing,turning up the TV just before,[Don't have a dog] pointed out the distraction method of a fox in the next field,didn't work,also went into the next room but in a bungalow that's no good.
I've jumped up startled and said,”Did you hear that noise outside?,I'll check all the doors and windows”
She replied”Make sure they haven't crapped on them on the way in!”]
I've tried leaning to one side but she knows that sign,sat on a pillow,no go!
If I go to the heads she can hear one being ripped off! I tried to tell her in the bogs it's legal but no go!
I'm fighting a losing battle here,married to someone with keen eardrums.
Appreciate any help.
I caint give you an answer as my 18 year old better half cracks them out louder and smellier than i can! but thats brilliant, it made me roll over laughing cheers!

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