Remember the Musicals?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by slim, Sep 18, 2007.

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  1. Well it's about time that the musicals were brought up to date.
    For starters here are the first three makeovers.
    Please add the rest:

    The Musicals brought up to date.

    West Side Story.
    Renamed Moss side story.
    Tells the story of a scouse chav and a nice middle class girl. Chav knocks her up and gets her a council flat. Puts her on the game and lives off her earnings. Eventually meets gullible punter who rescues her.

    Guys and Dolls
    Renamed Guys and Guys
    Set in Bangkok where a naive Brummie meets a beautiful girl. Unknown to him she is actually a katoy. Falls in love and pays for katoys operation only to find that he preferred her as he was.

    The King and I
    Renamed The King and I
    About a King who has a pretty wife but would prefer to be a tampax.
     
  2. Tautology; and a scouser in Moss Side wouldn't need a woman to sod his life up! Best if he'd stayed in the Pool.
     
  3. Don't wish to be too geographically pedantic but Moss Side is in manchesstoh not Liverpool, even a scouse chav has the sense not to set up his women in moss side

    :thumright:
     
  4. Perhaps he was a chav social climber :money:

    Anyway how about some new titles :thumright:
     
  5. Seven Sisters for Seven Brothers

    Set in deepest darkest East Anglia, the gene pool is depleted once again in this rip roaring musical about a game all the family can play
     
  6. Nice one Scouse
     
  7. Mary Pop Outs
     
  8. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    Les Miserables

    Now set in today's UK society - it tells the story of "middle England" - disenfranchised by the Scots, unemployed as a result of mass uncontrolled immigration, and overtaxed in the name of prudence.

    South Pacific

    Tells the story of a group of English ex-pats as they flee the home of their birth (see Les Mis) and try and build a new life in the Antipodes.
     
  9. Starlight Express renamed San-gat Express

    Tells the story of the French Governments attempt to get revenge on Britain for showing them up as Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys by operating a refugee request stop at the channel tunnel entrance
     
  10. Fiddler on the Roof is now Fiddler on the Hoof

    The story of a manchestoh benefit fraudster who actually gets his dream job on the side as a jockey, eventually winning the Grand National, ony to be arrested as he steps of the Weighing scales by a DHSS hit team
     
  11. Joseph and his technicolour reamout

    Its Saturday evening in the stokers mess and its Josephs turn in the barrel. Little does he know that there is a bunch of stokers crosspolling from several middle eastern and african navies. Life could get messy for our hero
     
  12. Evita now renamed "Evict'er"

    The story of a ordinary chavette that sleeps her way from a council estate all the way to the bed of a high ranking Military officer who will rule his country. (now who said Mrs Parker-Bowles?)
     
  13. South Pacific

    A load of women at a CND "bender" camp outside Newbury have a sing song. It attracts the attention of the bikers camping next door and they decide to have a sing song. Then they all have a sing song, start sha**ing for peace and embarrass the rabbits on Watership Down.

    PS

    Bugger! already been done.
     
  14. Saturday Night Heaver

    Our hero goes out on the lash and dons the thickest pair of beer goggles ever. When he realises what he's trapped can he save the content of his stomach
     
  15. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
    Now renamed Shitty Kitty Gang Bang
    Kitty goes out on the town in Walford, only to discover that the local boys are not easilly pleased.
     
  16. Miss Saigon, renamed:

    Miss Sign On

    Set in Gosport.

    Says it all really.
     
  17. O.K.La Homo Gay Musical
     
  18. The King and - The Choogie and I

    Need I explain?
     

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