· If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

· Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

· Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That
way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.

· Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

· Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

· A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

· A closed mouth gathers no feet.

· If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.

· My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

· I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles
out of my face.

· If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the

· Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way

· Bills travel through the postal system at twice the speed of cheques.

· A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so

· Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

· Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

· No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.