Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by guestm, Sep 29, 2011.

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  1. Now, I've been playing a game for a while which we call "Facebook Dump". Basically I post a questionable status and see how many friends defriend me, it's excellent.

    A 9/11 status I knocked out bang on the ten year anniversary cost me 17 which was a win, but tonight I led with "Redundant? Pick your branch!" And my god, the ire I have received is monumental. Funnily enough, one of the angry horde is an RR member and he has lost his shit. So for comedy value, here is his diatribe:

    TL: You fucking prick i have done ten years morwe than you and you laugh at me beeeing dumpd, prick.

    MLP: Pass your fatness test then you bumder.

    TL: ive been a po longetr than you

    MLP: Well that makes you a dragarse. And a fat cunt, RNFT?

    TL: Fitnes test means nothing, ive doner 18 years.

    MLP: Of eating? You said Doner, kebab munching fat knacker!

    TL: prick you wil get yours

    MLP: Not before you get your P45 fatty>

    TL: I will kijl you

    MLP: You're killing yourself with the way you eat you fat fuck* *Film geek extravaganza!

    TL: your a dick

    MLP: And you haven't been to sea or passed an RNFT for ten years!

    TL: your dead.

    MLP: Is dead code for "Seagoer"?

    TL: ive done my time, you now my back is wrecked

    MLP I'm not surprised carrying that fucking load you biff.

    TL: il kil you

    MLP: Join the queue fatty no job.

    So, anyone else had a mong spaz off in the last 24? The sad thing is, there are some good blokes being snuffed out tomorrow, but my god, good riddance to most.
    • Like Like x 3
  2. I rekon you will miss the axe and go on to make WO1 you anchor faced twat. . :-D .:brushteeth:
  3. Monty you dunarf get under people's skin, that was awesome.
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Mate. I have been enjoying your mischief on facebook and avidly reading some of the replies. Clearly Cornwall is having a good influence on you.

    As for the above, awesome. The threats are brilliant. You may need to watch your back here. I wish him well signing on.
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2011
  5. BZ, MLP - brilliant !
  6. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    The fat knackers never fail to amuse me. The have more excuses in their back pockets than the defendants at the Nuremberg trials. I particularly like the ever increasing ailment of stress. These cunts are as close to branch changing to MA, without actually doing it, as your ever going to get. They generally have an indepth knowledge of every medical category and exploit them to further sit on their fat arses, unless its stand easy. Then its burger time with a choclate bar, the Sun newspaper and all washed down with a diet fucking coke.

    Either way Monty, redundancy or not, I'm sure tubs will be sampling some of the delights of fast food today to celebrate or commiserate.
  7. As a fat twat I was extemely lucky that the fitness test was not introduced while I was in.
    However if it had been I reckon that I would have scrapped through OK. My weight never stopped me doing any sea draft that I was given (and I was a Wafu). However I do believe that if you are unfit for service due to being unfit that you should be discharged shore, with one over riding factor, anyone injured in the course of their duties who though not fit enough to go to sea but able to usefully contribute in a non seagoing position should be retained. I'm thinking service injuries (Afghanistan, Falklands etc.).
  8. This could be the ideal time to clear out the dead wood aka the sea shy, welfare warriors and sickbay rangers. They, however, tend to know the scams and regs better than most and always seem to have teflon 8's (or 4's if you prefer).
  9. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    So who is it?

    I promise not to break out the fat jokes, honest!
  10. Nice one MLP. I, too, have been playing Facebook Dump but so far all I've had is "cock". Which, to be fair, is perfectly accurate. I guess my mates still have a sense of humour.
  11. Not quite sure why I am posting in Lil's, but I have just got back from an afternoon wedding reception. It "degenerated" into a night session (as they do), A group of blokes walked in wearing familiar outfits, and my daughter remarked "Are they Sailors or is it fancy dress?" To which I immediately replied "They are real "Matelots", not fancy dress". I had given them just one passing glance, but just KNEW they were for real. I know it sounds like I had set eyes on the Lone Ranger, but it was a lovely thought that I recognised "Jack" without more than a cursory glance. When I spoke to one of them, (a PO, not sure of modern branches) he told me he was on the redundancies list, I felt gutted, he just looked like he was part of what I once was, and I really felt guilty for his predicament. It was the first time I had seen the lads out in rig since I left. Felt kind of strange.

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