Reasons not to go on the beach

I fucking hate the beach, love the sea, love swimming, but the beach itself can fuck off, what with it's itchy sand that gets everywhere.

Courtesy of the pusser, I've been to some of the world's best beaches and while I admit they're picturesque, all I want to do when I'm there is have a dhoby and hose down all my gear.

When your beer has sand in it, you know that's a step too far.

Oh and Candice whatserface can fuck off too, she was never on any of the beaches I've been too, probably cos of the sand. Rats skinny bitch, wouldn't touch her with Rumrat's.
75' and a courtesy visit to Odessa on the Black Sea on the good ship Dev ... think Rummers may have left by this time ... anyway we had several "cultural" tours organised by the local branch of the KGB who sent this divs "intertourist" guide with us and after walking around Odessa we ended up on the beach. Turns out that Odessa (whilst still part of the USSR) was used as a holiday resort for the comrades in Moscow and when they managed to save up enough beer tokens over 10 years or so they got shipped over to Odessa for 2 weeks fun in the sun.

The beach was covered in those wooden sun bed thingies and while the Russians may be a tad behind the rest of the world ... when it comes to beach wear they were well ahead and everyone was in a thong with or without a top .... Bliss you say ... almost naked flange drapped all over the beach what more could you want ... but when you then consider that the accumilation of the required amount of tokens to get there took many years ... and the majority of Ruskie Women resemble Geoff Capes / Olympic Shot Putter ... the sight of these beached whales in thongs and nothing else scarred the retinas somewhat!
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