Random thoughts

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by janner, Feb 11, 2011.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    "I am not available right now, but

    Thank you for caring enough to call.

    I am making some changes in my life.

    Please leave a message after the

    Beep. If I do not return your call,

    You are one of the changes."


    A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother."

    Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER."


    What is the definition of Mistress?

    Someone between the Mister and Mattress.


    What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?*

    Stress is when wife is pregnant,*

    Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,*

    and Panic is when both are pregnant.*


    A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,

    "Are all these kids yours?"*

    The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these

    are customer complaints".


    A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"*

    Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.

    Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential."


    A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

    Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"

    "Not yet," she replied.

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