Here`s one for the lads doing.. Port crew, Starb`d crew and other crew. Life round here is bloody awful house is dismal as a grave, Father has a humour failure, Mother treats me like a slave, Brother Mike has just been banged up, following a life of crime, And my girlfriend`s lost her mobile, for the 27th time. The shitta in the backyards blocked up, how it happened I dunno Sister hasnâ€™t been for ages An sheâ€™s now starting to show. Mother asked her â€œwhenâ€™s the babyâ€ an she starts to knit a wrap, But we all know .. she`s not pregnant. She`s just really full of crap. Life presents a gloomy picture of that fact there is no doubt, Grandma Vera has just farted, big and loud with lots of clout, And the dog is not much better, with it's epileptic fits, every time he coughs - he farts, an when he farts - he shits. Brother John is on the social He has never had a job Once I thought that I`d be helpful an tried to get him in the mob marched him down to the careers they told him â€œlet it all hang looseâ€ but he failed to get the medic, seems he hasnâ€™t got a pulse. Iâ€™m in bed with influenza, Iâ€™m at deaths doorâ€¦ wait and see.. The dogâ€™s just ate my dinner, an next he`ll have my tea. Now the cat has brought a mouse in, at least...sheâ€™s got some food I wonâ€™t try to take it off her, Only puts her in a mood. ...... Iâ€™ll be so glad when it`s our turn, This one`s been to bleedin long Lets get back to playin uckers On patrol where I belong. Although I put my family first And that will always be. Best thing to do, when they get through Is bugger off to sea. â€¦â€¦..