Qualified as a Professional

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by sgtpepperband, Sep 1, 2007.

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  1. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional.

    The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional.

    Scroll down for the answers.


    1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

    The correct answer is:

    Open the refrigerator,

    put in the giraffe

    and close the door.

    This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way.


    2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

    Incorrect answer:

    Open the refrigerator,

    put in the elephant

    and shut the refrigerator.

    Correct answer:

    Open the refrigerator,

    take out the giraffe,

    put in the elephant

    and close the door.

    This question tests your foresight.


    3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

    Correct answer:

    The elephant.

    The elephant is in the refrigerator!

    This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking.

    OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional.


    4. There is a river filled with crocodiles. How do you cross it?

    Correct Answer:

    Simply swim through it.

    All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting!

    This question tests your reasoning ability.


    If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you.

    If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you.

    If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint.

    If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money.

    If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require any higher mental functions at all, such as politics.
  2. I shall be standing at the next General Election representing the Completely Stupid Party!
  3. A-Ha!! Competition!
  4. I will be changing my name by deed poll and standing as

    Mr Nobody


    Nobody cares about You
    Nobody will keep taxes down
    Nobody will defend the Country
    Nobody will get you out of the EC
    Nobody will control pay and Pensions of MP's
    Nobody really gives shit

    You get the idea please send futher suggestions.

  5. We could form a Tri party alliance
  6. I can knock on doors for you to deliver propaganda....I mean election leaflets. When the door is answered I will run away....maybe I won't even deliver leaflets or knock on doors....I don't have to and you can't make me.....leave me alone...not playing now!

    Yep I'm yer man!!!! For the right price!

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