Punishment for thieves?

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Rachelthree, Feb 23, 2013.

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  1. Well I have just had my bag stolen- it had my i phone, bank card, ID, house keys and so forth in it- now whilst the technical term for this scenario seen as though I live near no family etc is 'fooked'; feel free to make up some scenarios etc in which the thief gets their commupence to cheer me up a little!
  2. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Locked in Blackrat's dungeon with only cumdownmythroat to talk to.
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Haha they've only ruined me for a few days- although there is a lot of hatred searing through me right now that's a little bit harsh :p shudder!
  4. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Where was it nicked from? Pompey somewhere looking at your other post?
  5. Arm, lap, opposite chair.....:biggrin:
  6. Yep, good old classy pompey! I am not too materialistic but it kinda sucks seeing as though I can't get into my house, phone anyone, get any money out to travel anywhere or do anything, and I am currently at someones house I dont know too well borrowing their sofa and computer- good job I am not too much of a moaner or I would have a field day! Sympathy or laughter is equally welcome, both are good for the soul apparently!

    PS I am aware this post sounds moany, its more for light relief :p albeit a bit self indulgent and wallowing!
  7. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Taking it quite well I reckon. I'd be looking for the nearest bastard to murder! What pub then, do you know? Never had any of our lads/lasses robbed in my last draft there.
  8. I wish I knew how to use this iphone I just nicked.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. somewhere albert rd way :( its happened to me before at a cashpoiny but i managed to retrieve it back straight away luckily"

    haha rumrat, if you give me my house keys I'll even help you use it ;)
  10. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    You need to very quickly get access to your address and get the locks changed, if its not already to late. If your current address and not your parents address is on the licence or other paperwork they probably went straight around and helped themselves.
  11. You certainly know how to cheer up people Jan!
  12. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Seen it happen so many times in my old job mate, quite often the keys are the main concern and the thieves are around to the address before people know the keys have been stolen. Just trying to make the young lady aware of possible problems
  13. So if I give you your house key back you will help me use it?
    You not being very materialistic would then not have a problem taking off all your kit and giving it to me, correct?
    Jeeze this thread is getting interesting.
    The saving grace is I am not sharkey. With him the minute you stripped, he'd be in your clothes and mincing about in the town in minutes. Many a woman was witness to, and shocked by Sharkey's take on "I want to get in your knickers".^~
  14. If you know you serial number of your iPhone and have access to a iPad/Mac then you can track and disable the iPhone.

    That would get me smiling knowing the thieving twat's chance of some wonga had just gone fizzzzz!

  15. I wudda shared, but not now.
    Why do you need to meddle?
  16. I can narrow that down a bit if Rummers nicked it, you were either in an over 60s tranny bar, a home for the bewildered or behind some bushes in the park
    • Like Like x 1
  17. They seek him here,
    They seek him there,
    They seek the Rumrat everywhere,
    But unlike Sharkey,
    He feels no pain
    Unimpeded by a walking frame,
    So fuck of sharkey, and stow you're shite,
    You half witted, senile, transvestite..
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Is he in heaven
    or is he in hell
    or in a pompey coppers cell
    he nicked a bag off Rachael3
    it'll be a while before he's free
    they caught him in young Rachael's place
    with her makeup on his face
    in her high heels bra and nicks
    sadlly thats the way he gets his kicks
    he nicked her bag in search of plunder
    lets hope they send him back down under
    • Like Like x 1
  19. None of what you say is true,
    We know it was all down to you,
    You robbed the girl it wasn't right,
    And all to be a transvestite,
    Mincing round in women's clothes,
    Getting up poor red mist's nose,
    This fetish you should put aside,
    Or sharkey you'll end up inside,
    Your choice of life is quite disgusting
    And lots of folk who have been trusting,
    in you are now all having doubts,
    and hope that you and similar louts,
    Are transported across the sea,
    but please dear lord just not by me.
    Send him where there's massive bars,
    Or better send the cunt to mars.
    Send him god and make it soon,
    He'll be the first on mars to moon.
    He'll flash his little frilly knickers,
    Suspenders, and like Catholic vicars,
    He'll get kicks and perverted joys,
    from shagging poor tight virgin boys.
  20. Hey up look it poets corner
    Rumrat Sharkey order, order
    But what the latest on the girl,
    who's day did not start so well
    has she sorted all her woes
    or are we saying fuck it

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