Pumpkin Pie anyone???

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by stan_the_man, Sep 6, 2013.

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  1. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old
    white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.

    The next day, at the Gwinnett County Courthouse in Georgia, Lawrence was
    charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public
    intoxication.

    The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
    from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is
    soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles .......... or
    at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

    Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
    out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
    and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you
    know ?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

    In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching
    police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor
    approached him.

    'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I
    walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'

    Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
    Lawrence. 'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex
    with a pumpkin ??'

    He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked
    me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin ?!! Shit !! ... Is it midnight
    already ?
     
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  2. Did he make a lovely pie with it afterwards?
     
  3. No, he just supplied the custard!
     
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