Its all true 'onest Guv.
New Bridge for Old
(How to re-design an O Boats Bridge)
One fine day in May 1971 Her Majesties Submarine Opportune SSK20 was quietly weaving along at various depths about two hundred miles south west of the Sicily Isles. Our gain-full employment was to test sonar arrays, which were later to be part of the 2000 series sonar sets. El Capitano feeling bored and unhappy with two thirds of his motley crew tucked up in their smelly pits decides to close up the attack team and practice on a poor unsuspecting passing merchantman that had just happened along our part of the South West Approaches. We tumble out of our bunks and gallop off to the Control Room, looking out of course for a Senior Rate or Officer coming in the opposite direction down the 24-inch wide passage to trample over.
Oh! me, I was the Leading Hand of the forward mess, Rader Plotter 2 and Navigator’s Yeoman together with various other tasks assigned to me by people various, but I must admit to an aversion to Chief Stokers, GI’s and Jossmen. Arriving at my allotted position on the front side of the back plot, I donned my regulation head set and mike, scooped up various chino-graph pencils, slide rule and assorted protractors. Had the Sound Room and Local Operation Plot loud and clear and off we go building up a picture of the target. The Captain is on the attack or forward periscope, the signalman is shadowing his movements reading off angles and bearings as required. Other than the Captain did not have his cap on back to front it was just like the movies, loads of tense people talking in hushed tones, when required, practicing what they were trained to do, convert a skimmer into a submarine.
For a reason known only to God and his able assistant our Captain, he, that’s the Captain not God, suddenly stood back from the periscope and says, “I am incapacitated, First Lieutenant take over the attackâ€. Well you could have heard a pin drop or even a Leander Frigate pinging away at Portland, so steps forward the man of the moment Lt. Tom Le Marchant, later to be Captain SM10. Very soon he is gripping the handles of the attack scope and getting into the attack. Old ‘Mr. I Am Incapacitated’ is on the search or aft periscope checking on proceedings. Unfortunately this instrument is four foot shorter than the attack scope so spends a long time under the surface where the Captain can see only a milky green haze.
The proceedings are now reaching a climax, don’t even go there, and we prepare to fire water shots at the target i.e. fire the water in two empty tubes out, this makes the fore-endies, TAS Weapons ratings, feel involved in the proceedings. Then Tom Le Marchant orders the Coxswain on the one-man band, combined helm and planes, to take us to 200 feet. The bow down angle increases and we had just about reached 100 foot when the most almighty bang and the bow down angle increase. All water tight doors and bulkheads were slammed shut about 2 seconds before the Engineer Officer gave the order. All compartments reported no damage or flooding but we carried on going down.
Now one of the laws of physics is as a submarine goes deeper the water pressure compresses it, this makes it heavier, which make it go down faster, which compresses it further, this of course makes it heavier. I will leave the rest up to you, suffice it to say; us that had sight of a depth gauge thought well how deep can we go. The ballast pump was pumping away for all it was worth and as we reach 800 foot, well it may have only been 700, the Captain ordered Main Ballast to be blown. Up we popped like a champagne cork no chance of a one all round look on a periscope or sonar search for surface contacts which is normal when coming up from deep. Being the soul who sat just about under the tower I was ordered to test the tower for flooding then open the lower lid. Then open up the upper lid, this would not open fully due to various bits of metal and fibreglass, which had previously been the bridge and front end of our fin. Up goes the outside wrecker, skilled tiffie, to cut away the wreckage so that the OOW and Lookout could occupy the radar mast well as a temporary bridge.
It was soon discovered that the merchantman, recently out of dry dock, yes a 2-foot by 1-foot new zinc anode was embedded in the fin, had taken off the front upper area of the fin. Later investigations concluded that the 1st Lieutenant had been over estimating the range putting us closer to the target than anticipated. Both our periscopes were well dead and we were ordered to Portsmouth for dry-docking while new scopes were fitted then calibrated.
Six weeks minimums we were told. Well every cloud has a silver lining, I had been married only four months and lived near Guildford, after bunging the chart correction unit in HMS Dolphin 200 duty free fags to correct my charts, and the staff at Guildford Royal Navy and Royal Marines Recruitment Office a bottle of rum I was duly drafted to the same recruitment office and shown as RA for the only time in my naval career.
Nutty
