Public service message for women

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by janner, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Because I'm a man,
    when I lock my keys in the car, I will
    fiddle with a coat hanger long
    after hypothermia has set in.
    Calling AA is not an option. I will win.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _______

    Because I'm a man
    ,

    when the car isn't running very well,
    I will pop the hood and
    stare at the engine as if I know what
    I'm looking at. If another man
    shows up, one of us will say
    to the other, 'I used to be able to fix
    these things, but now
    with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
    know
    where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ ________

    Because I'm a man
    ,

    when I catch a cold, I need someone
    to bring me soup and
    take care of me while I lie in bed and
    moan. You're a woman. You never
    get as sick as I do, so
    for you, this is no problem.
    ____________
    _________ _________ _________ ________

    Because I'm a man
    ,

    I can be relied upon to purchase basic
    groceries at the store, like beer,
    milk or bread. I cannot be
    expected to find exotic items like 'cumin' or
    'tofu.' For all I know, these are the same thing.
    ____________
    _________ _________ _________ ________

    Because I'm a man
    , when
    one of our appliances stops
    working, I will insist on taking it apart,
    despite evidence that
    this will just cost me twice as much once the
    repair person
    gets here and has to put it back together.
    ____________
    _________ _________ _________ ________







    Because
    I'm a man
    ,
    I must hold the television remote
    control in my hand while I watch TV. If
    the thing has been
    misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for
    it.....though
    one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator..
    ...
    ____________ _________ _________ _________ _______







    Because
    I'm a man
    ,
    there is no need to ask me what I'm
    thinking about. The true answer is
    always either sex, cars,
    sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something
    else when
    you ask, so don't ask.
    ____________ _________ _________
    _________ ________







    Because
    I'm a man
    ,
    I do not want to visit your mother, or
    have your mother come visit us, or
    talk to her when she
    calls, or think about her any more than I have to.
    Whatever
    you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see
    it.
    And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ ________

    Because
    I'm a man
    , you don't have to ask me if I liked the
    movie. Chances
    are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't
    ...and if you are
    feeling amorous afterwards.. ..then I will
    certainly at least remember
    the name and recommend it to
    others.
    ____________ _________ _________
    _________ ________

    Because I'm a man
    , I think what you're
    wearing is fine. I
    thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was
    fine,
    too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without
    it,
    looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
    now?

    ____________ _________ _________ _________ ________







    Because
    I'm a man
    ,
    and this is, after all, the year 2013, I
    will share equally in the
    housework. You just do the laundry,
    the cooking, the cleaning, the
    vacuuming, and the dishes,
    and I'll do the rest...... Like wandering
    around in the garden
    with a beer wondering what to do.


    This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.


     

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