A family of prostitutes in Aberdeen were standing on a street corner in the middle of winter, freezing their tits off. Business was slow and they were chatting about this and that. The daughter says "Times like this, I think I'll charge seventy five quid ferra blow job!" Her mother replies "Auch hen! I kidna get nae mare than twenty poonds when I first started....." Grandmother looks her daughter and grand daughter in the eyes and says, "Yae nae nuthin! Workin' in the feckin' winter when I were a wee lass....I was jus' glad tae have a warm drink!" *************** This bloke was driving home with his girlfriend at two in the morning, having treated her to a meal and a late night movie, when all of a sudden he saw flashing blue lights in his rear view mirror.....then the police sirens went ballistic so he slowed down and pulled over into a convenient lay by. The police car stopped as well, and an enormous bald headed traffic cop strolled over to the drivers side, indicating that he should wind his window down. "Good morning officer!", he said nervously. "Hello....listen - I've followed you all the way from the town centre and I must ask just exactly how much have you had to drink tonight?" Somewhat bemused he replied, "Why absolutely none at all. Was my driving a little erratic or something?" The cop says, "Not at all sir. It's just that being almost two thirty in the morning, I see someone driving a car with a twenty stone greasy haired right ugly munter in the front passenger seat, I presumed that you were absolutely shit faced"