Pretty Women

Stan the man is fuckin ugly true, but not as bad as Wreck,
They stuck him in a slugemarine to get him off two deck,
He'd scared the fuckin skimmers, but the plan went well adrift,
He got into the battery-room, the twat then wouldn't shift,
But the enterprising skipper had an ace stuck up his sleeve,
I'll send some cunt in "uglier" we'll get the twat to leave.
So in went bastard sharky and out flew poor old wrecks,
before and twat could stop him he'd made it up two decks.

Cunt looks like an AGR I'm told, a knob on the side of his face,
A roundish thingy sticking out, we're told to "ward off mace"
Alas I know this isn't true, the poor misshapen fella,
He doesn't "pull"....he drags his women straight into the cellar.
They couldn't do "this is your life" on cunt when it was the rage,
Trouble was that all them Police could not fit on one stage.

Sonar Bender's out in Spain, now there's a thing to ponder,
He never mentions coming home, "Why I often wonder",
Well I did but not no more, now I'm satisfied,
I've seen him,.. and he's fuckin rats, the bastard's got cross eyes,
He doesn't walk he ambles, his arms flap by his side,
Still when he left the nursing home sisters eyes were full of pride.

Fuck have you seen Frogman, "Did I say Sonar Benders rats"?
Froggy is ...well twice as bad and covered in these bats,
Alas the poor cunts thinks their women and spends his dosh a plenty,
In truth some of them look quite nice, (if shagged by rear entry)
But shaggin bats is nasty and such a dirty habit,
Nah fuck all that perverted stuff, I'll stick with my rabbit.

Across the raging ocean and maybe the odd sea,
There lives a really sick twat who's known "Wet Blobby",
What a fuckin weirdo its enough to give you skids,
He wears a spotty costume,.. and hangs around with kids,
His bezzy mates a bookworm, now he don't play with a train,
Could you stand a "run" with these two, and would you go again?

New Zealand Fuckin Boot neck that's a fuckin crock of crap,
The twats from down Sowf landon, a jovial little chap,
With his best mate blobby they live across the sea,
I've been to London also and I'd fuck off if it were me,
They drink lots of cold beer there,.. and act a pair of twats,
By acting rude and fighting nude on special rubber mats.

Whilst Sol was gallivanting Trelawney filled the slot,
Posting daily mail things and acting like a twot,
I think he may be past the worst, he may be getting better,
With stories of Edwina, and how he'd like to go and get her,
But like I've told Rod Gearing he can wank his self to death,
But try to shag her before me,.. I'll part you from your breath.

So there's lots to say about many more in this little Forum,
And you all know you can trust me, to act with decorum.
For I'm a pillar of society and there isn't any truth,
About me and those hamsters, and there isn't any proof,
I took them out I do admit but he's just a lying copper,
to say he found me on my back,... hamsters nibbling my chopper.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've had a curry
Now I need a poo.

* * * * * *

Skimmers are grey
A subs painted black
We get subsistence
So fuck right off Jack.

* * * * * *
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