Press Release from IRB

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Salty_Dog, Apr 19, 2007.

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  1. International Rugby Board (IRB) Rugby World Cup 2007

    Following complaints to the IRB about the All Blacks being allowed to motivate themselves by performing the ‘Haka’ before their games,other nations were asked to suggest pre-match rituals of their own.

    The IRB Rugby World Cup 2007 Organizing Committee has now agreed to the following pre-match displays:

    1) The England team will chat about the weather, wave hankies in the air and attach bells to their ankles before moaning about how they invented the game and gave it to the world, but no one appreciates them.

    2) The Scotland team will chant “You lookin’ at me Jimmy?†before each of them and give each opponent a 'Glesga kiss'.

    3) The Ireland team will split into two, with the Southern half performing a Riverdance, while the Northerners march the Traditional route from their dressing room to the pitch, via their opponents dressing room.

    4) Unfortunately the Committee was unable to accept the Welsh proposal to form a choir and sing Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusualâ€.

    5) Argentina will unexpectedly invade a small part of opposition territory, claim it as their own “Las In-Goals-Areas†and have to be forcibly removed by the match stewards.

    6) Two members of the South African team will claim to be more important than the other 13 whom they will imprison between the posts. These two will then go about selecting the best parts of the pitch to settle on and claim that they have been there for centuries.

    7) The Americans will not attend until almost full time. In future years they will amend the records to show that they were in fact the most important team in the tournament and Hollywood will make a blockbuster film called ‘Saving Flanker Ryan’.

    8. Five of the Canadian team will sing La Marseillaise and hold the rest of the team to ransom.

    9) The Italian team will arrive in Armani gear, sexually harass the female officials and then prepare pasta dishes, which they will flog to the crowd for a fortune.

    10) The Japanese will shock fans by demonstrating how to capture a whale for scientific research by harpooning an opposition prop.

    11) The French won’t have a pre-match display and will simply hide in fear in the dressing room for the whole match.

    12) The Australians will have a BBQ on their side of the field and invite the opposition over before the game. The food and alcohol will be in abundance and by the start of the game no-one will remember what they came to the stadium for. After some streaking, the singing of dirty songs and the occasional chunder everyone will go home thoroughly convinced it was a bloody good night.

    13) The Moroccan team will quietly pray during the first half and then launch suicide attacks against the opposition after the break. Unfortunately, this strategy works well for the first game only, after which Morocco is forced to withdraw from the Rugby World Cup due to lack of players.

    14) Samoa will prepare a huge feast in the middle of the pitch by digging a large hole and filling it with burning embers. They invite the opposition over by saying, “We’d like to have you for dinnerâ€. It’s only when the opposition get to the pit that they realize there is no meat and that they are the dinner!

    Hopefully, with these policies now in place, further problems is this area of the game should cease to exist.

    Syd Miller
    IRB Chairman
  2. Big news today in Rugby League Down Under, Kiwis (NZ RL team) in OZ at present for ANZAC day test match fail to attend press/PR junket announcing that Brisbane will host RL World Cup Finals, as they were having Haka practice. Aussies all wound up. :lol: ..Psych.
  3. not really fair about the Americans... i mean its Hollywood producers who insist that Los Angeles and America in secundus are the center of the world.
  4. LOL Salty Dog and it's all about right !!! ;)

    NZ Bootie, well i think the NZ Rugby League team need to probably pull their heads in a bit (eh!) and calm down. I personally am putting my hand up to help them see that public relations is as part of the game as any other ;) x
  5. Pinta it's all a bit Boys will be boys at the moment, punch ups galore expected at Sun Corp Stadium, can't be arsed myself as League grots me off :lol: .
  6. Jarhead are you on the right thread??? fecking hell!! Anyway I know what you mean NZ mate. It's always such a tense rivalry between Oz and Australia or any state of. I do think though that the Haka has always been a big intimidatory sign in the minds of anyone playing against NZ and that's when it becomes boys will be boys?? Losing face comes to mind mate?? Px
  7. sorry pint, its just one of my pet peeves about american directors assuming LA is the center of the entire universe just because their facilities are there.

  8. What New South Wales against Queensland :lol: :lol: :oops:
  9. FFS Jarhead!!! NZ bootie and I having conversation about trans-tasmanian rugby here? Yes Salty Dog brought USA up on 1 of 14 points!!!! Did you have to pick that out and run with it? Why do you guys take yourself so seriously? Salty Dog is taking piss out of all of us and good on him!! If you are trying to become part of this Commonwealth community then please stop being so bloody singular? And FFS let's keep this thread on track guys? Pinta x
  10. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    yes, come on Jarhead, lets keep on thread here...did you see that porn movie animal farm when you where in the USMC Jarhead?.....filth stuff that...sod being a chicken.. :lol:
  11. NZ bootie! State of Origin??? Sorry Queensland everytime mate! xx
  12. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    eels and horses....ooohhhh
  13. And another interesting thread to some of us wasted????? Sorry NZ Bootie hopefully will be able to take this up with you in PM?
  14. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    ok..I'll stop
  15. listen blobby, i'm not going to pander to your tastes... if you wanna dress up as a chicken to get some, thats between you and your friends (if you have any after wearing that getup...).
  16. As I said Feckin Lost!!!!!! Next time Sports Salty Dog babe xx. They won't know what hit em!!
  17. and you're right pinta, its just one of my major pet peeves. sorry to all on the attempting derailing of this thread.
  18. Jarhead
    I would like to make you do the chicken. Then skull fuck you for good measure.
  19. Blobs, was it shown by a fat knacker chef (C3)? Saw it in Norway in 80, never had a cooked breakfast again if that cnut was working :lol: . I was only visiting the HQ bods grots to see an oppo from training, honest, and they had beer too so had to stay :oops:
  20. Watch ESPN Classic, Sky 442, All Blacks performing the Haka in the 60's, they look like a load of Morris dancing faires. The girls at my rugby club did Baa Baa Black Sheep, very funny.

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