Postman always comes twice

thehogman

Midshipman
It was the postman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope full of fivers.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The people at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee met him at the door.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, bacon, sausage, mushrooms, and freshly squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a 50 pence coin siting in the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the 50 pence for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Screw him, give him a 50p."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
golden_rivet would you want this postman to ring?????? Diamond Lil's 21
sgtpepperband Postman Pat from 'Boro The Gash Barge 7
andym Postman Pat Diamond Lil's 2
soleil Falmouth Packet: "Face Of The Base: The Culdrose Crew Always On Call" The Fleet Air Arm 1
MoD_RSS Speech: The NHS of the future will always put its people first MoD News 0
Stirlin Big is not always best. Sports and Adventure Training 5
P Advice wanted: Offered Observer but always had Pilot as my first choice Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 18
jesse Why does it always happen to me?! Diamond Lil's 21
dapperdunn I always keep my word Current Affairs 34
chrismonc87 Always go to Parties in Torpoint...... this is real i kid you not Diamond Lil's 2
soleil The Diplomat: "Measuring Naval Power: Bigger Ain’t Always Better" International 0
MG Maniac Why does it always rain ..................... Diamond Lil's 10
frogman007 Always log off Diamond Lil's 4
Rumrat Why does it always happen this way?... Diamond Lil's 35
A Always be honest! Miscellaneous 0
soleil Herald: "Navy Will 'Always' Be In City" Submariners 0
Stirling Always obey the last....... Diamond Lil's 1
2_deck_dash Why is the younger sister always more divs? Diamond Lil's 49
Andrew_1980 I always felt Google discriminated The Internet - Best and Worst 5
Clown_Puncher Always check your arcs (Facebook faux pais) Diamond Lil's 14
A Why does it always have to be about who you shag? Diamond Lil's 23
Rumrat Come on you didn't always win!! Diamond Lil's 12
NotmeChief Why do the Scots always blame someone else. The Quarterdeck 68
Cpt_Black So this is why I've always got a cold... Diamond Lil's 2
D Always ask where the cucumber has been Diamond Lil's 2
Rocket_Ron EU-the vote you always wanted... The Quarterdeck 32
Recruiting We are always looking for ... Blogs 1
F There is always one who...... Diamond Lil's 8
rosinacarley Always ... Diamond Lil's 24
G Once a communicator always a communicator Blogs 32
chinamatelot Always knew the Army was dodgy - meet Deborah Diamond Lil's 51
S why am I always hungry? Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 40
W when on a course I always seem to end up being stuck with The Gash Barge 26
T Story that always makes me larf Diamond Lil's 3
PragmaticJen Civvy Street - not always what its cracked up to be! Current Affairs 13
MoD_RSS Order to proscribe far-right terrorist group comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS New reporting requirement for obliged entities comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Christmas comes early for first £5k winner of new Treasury-backed savings account MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Dream comes true for Chinese twin Peppa Pig fans as they visit the UK MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: New law protecting tenants comes into force today MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: New general licences for controlling Canada geese and wood pigeon comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: New general licence for controlling carrion crows comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: ‘Upskirting’ law comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Biggest ever increase to National Living Wage comes into effect MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: UK's new trade remedies system comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: UK implementation of the Trade Mark Directive 2015 comes into force MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Thermo Fisher’s takeover of Gatan comes under CMA microscope MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Scottish Poppy Appeal’s ‘Light up Red’ campaign comes to Dover House MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: British naval team comes to assistance of family in search and rescue mission MoD News 0
janner Stirlins thread for when He comes back. Diamond Lil's 59
Similar threads


















































New Posts

Top