Poor Stokes

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. Twas on a dark and windswept night, when the rain poured down his back,
    Poor old stokes got threaders and wished he hadn't flogged his mack.
    In a rain swept dump like Pompey,most matelots held their Burbs dear,
    Alas poor stokes had flogged his to raise money for his beer.
    And payday since had come and gone, and all his funds were spent,
    On fags and beer, big eats as well, and a pash he'd met, from Kent.

    Now as stokes stood by the dockyard gate, downhearted and wet through,
    A sudden plan came to his mind, he knew what he must do.
    He shot down past the Mucky duck, and spied his target there,
    Twas Gilda entering the Leopard, with flowers in its hair.
    That looks so fuckin easy, thought old stokes with a grin,
    So he strips his Keck's and white front off, and he jumps straight fuckin in.
    He knew as Gilda pranced and minced, the crowd would all throw money,
    But fuck all came his way, and stokes thought thats friggin funny.

    So pissed as a rat he strut his stuff, with never a fuckin care,
    Come on he shouts lets have you throw, someone did, a fuckin chair.
    It caught poor stokes above the eye, which made his poor head spin,
    He took a lunge at the nearest body, as the shore Patrol walked in.
    They trussed him up like a turkey, and told him he was silly,
    And naked as a new born babe they threw him in the Tilly.

    A night bollock naked in recess, soon brought him to his senses,
    And thus to the table he did come, as they read out his offenses.
    "I'd like to reserve my defense please sir", stokes muttered at the table,
    He'd heard this plea was the thing to do, he hoped it wasn't a fable.
    The officer of the day just smiled, and then "accepted" did he say,
    The motioning to the shore patrol, said "take this thing away".
    That didn't go to badly thought stokes as he marched out,
    But I'm in the shite when I'm back on board, of that there's little doubt.

    Two days later at the table, resplendent in his blues,
    Stokes deftly lifted his gold wire cap,worn with his well shone shoes.
    "Off caps" shouted joss with a snappy voice, and poor stokes lifted his lid,
    He stood trembling in anticipation, as they read out what he did.
    The Jimmy stood with his jaw dropped, stifling a smirk,
    As the prosecuting officer started his dirty work.
    "Stoker Smith was found in the leopard, dancing naked with a rose in his hair,
    He was bleeding and getting aggressive, someone had belted him hard with a chair".

    "What the fuck said the first Lt, What the fuck was you trying to do?
    Don't you know if you strip in the leopard, other matelots will throw things at you?"
    "I see now that it was quite stupid", said stokes with a big cheesy grin,
    After all he wasn't that stupid, he had seen what the crowd did to him.
    "I've learned my lesson I have sir" he said as a plan hit his head,
    Ner again will I dance in the Leopard, I'll go to the FES bar instead.
     
  2. Rummers,

    Sorry but my system has deleted your wonderful Stoker's dit. Would you type out all after "Twas on a dark and windswept night..." again please, just for me?

    (I'll even be your DO ;-P )
     
  3. You've lost my paper work and want to defend me?
    Yeah right, I'm over the side, fuck this for a game of cowboys.
     
  4. The barrack gate was closing as the matelot made his run,
    He threw himself at the closing gap, like a bullet from a gun.
    Fuck he had to make it, his life was on the line,
    To think a couple of mins ago, everything was going fine.
    But shit he couldn't resist it, all them boot necks doing drill,
    He had to give his "input", it gave him such a thrill.
    So as they did their "close-order" he stood there well impressed,
    But then he made his comment, now there was no time to rest.
    If he didn't make the gate till they closed it, he new what was in store,
    He was chuffed at first to have done it, but he wasn't so sure any more.
    Cus the booties were sure fuckin nasty, big fuckers with big bulging "pecks",
    I must be a knob to open my gob and scream out Parade "Now change sex".
    Then to add some more insult to injury, he started to walk with a mince,
    I remember when jack dusty tried it, and he hasn't walked straight ever since.
    But god must have smiled on that matlot, for just as the gate way banged shut,
    His body was through he had made it,... with just a quick kick up the butt.
    Why the fuck do we still have to come here to get a quick jab he had thought,
    Eastney Barracks is becoming quite dangerous,totally full of the wrong friggin sort,
    Can't they give us injections in Vicky, whats wrong with the MA's in there,
    All their good for is killing the pox in our cocks and those things that live in pubic hair,
    The head nurse is so fuckin ugly,and she looks like a type that might bark
    And the whole of the crew saving just one or two, would only look good in the dark..
     
  5. The above verse was based on a "game we used to play years ago whilst attending the sick bay in Eastney barracks (boot necks country) as they did not do medicals or jabs for ships in the dockyard in Vicky barracks at that particular time.
    The barracks was built around a square with a gate in the corner. The booties were often seen doing drill in the middle and it was a custom to see if you could abuse them, then make it out the gate alive, or at least in one piece.
    I was one of the many who had a small success and a mega failure.
    Around the sides of the square were, what one can only describe as post like cowboy horse hitching rails.
    Failure to make an escape after upsetting the parade Sgt, resulted in my being stripped, and hog tied under the rail. Left hanging for an hour after being drenched with the fire hose.
     

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