Poofs in an alley

Two coppers are out on patrol late one night, one flashes his torch down a dark alleyway and they spot two poofs having it away. They run down and grab the one, but the other, (the front one!), escapes in the dark. First copper says to his mate, "When I find that ******* queer sod I'm going to shove this truncheon right up his arse". Out of the darkness a little voice said, "I'm in the wheelie bin!".
One copper is out on patrol one night in Sarfsee .He shines his torch up an alley and sees two matelots , one with his fingers up the other one's chutney canyon .'Ello 'Ello !" he says , in true Spike Milligan fashion "Wot's all this then ?"
" It's not what you think , officer " says the fondler ;"my oppo's had too much to drink and I'm making him sick".
" Well ,yew won't do that by puttin' your fingers hup his harse , now will yew ? says Plod .
" No!" says Jack "but you just wait 'til I put 'em down his throat !"
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