A poodle and an Alsatian are chatting in the vet's waiting room. "What are you in for?" asks the Alsatian. Poodle replies "I shit on the brand new cream carpet so they're having me put down, what are you in for?" Alsatian says "The mistress was in the nude bent over the bath so I snuck up behind and gave her one". "Bloody hell!" says the poodle "They'll put you down for sure". "Nah" says the alsatian "They're just going to clip my nails!".