I can see it now, staggering back to the Hard, buying an egg banjo from the nearest bar. Getting into a Dghajsa to cross the water to Gosport and then into a karozzin for the trip back to Sultan/Collingrad and then getting ripped off by the driver.
So a programme on local tv last night about pusser trying to flog some old T22s to be sunk as dive ships around the South West coast. The clip showed Pompey dockyard it was full of fcuking ships - trouble was 75% were waiting to be scrapped!!!
My biggest problem was trying to stop putting 7 upwards of bottles in me.
I got jigged on it one night and there was too many of us to get in the taxi so they put one stupid twat in the boot.
The bastard taxi driver let me out of it 4 hours later. I was adrift and no one believed my tale of woe.
The skipper sighed and said, good god man is that really the best you can come up with?
He said it was bad enough being an hour adrift but to lie about it was despicable and doubled my punishment.
...and when the Portsmiff City Council get around to issuing each of us overburdened rate-paying residents with our obligatory half-starved mangey :grommit:I shall kick mine with heartless regularly (after first naming it "Forkov", of course).