Pompey News: "HMS Invincible dead in the water"

Discussion in 'The Fleet' started by soleil, Jun 27, 2009.

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  1. :roll: :roll: A whole new meaning to watchkeeping 1 in 4 :lol: :lol: :lol:

    A navy spokesman said: 'It is not Royal Navy policy to discuss the readiness state of any warship for operational reasons

    'Four navy personnel remain on the scheme of complement of HMS Invincible and act as a full-time caretaking unit.'
  2. I wonder what these four people do all the time. Fire and flood rounds? HQ1 watchkeeping? Painting?
  3. Apparently her engines have been stripped down and the anchors have gone! :lol:
  4. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    Shade's of Monty Python here

    A “customer†enters a dockyard in the South of England
    Mr. Public: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
    (The owner does not respond.)
    Mr. Public: 'Ello, Miss?
    Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
    Mr. Public: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
    Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
    Mr. Public: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this aircraft carrier what I purchased from this very boutique.
    Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Lesser Spotted Through-Deck-Cruiser...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
    Mr. Public: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. She's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
    Owner: No, no, she's uh,...she's resting.
    Mr. Public: Look, matey, I know a dead ship when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
    Owner: No no she's not dead, she's, she's restin'! Remarkable ship, the through-deck-cruiser, isn'it? Beautiful paintwork!
    Mr. Public: The paintwork don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
    Owner: Nononono, no, no! She's resting!
    Mr. Public: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'D’Yer hear there! Clear Lower Deck – All hands muster on the flight deckâ€...
    (owner points to “gang of four skulking around the islandâ€)
    Owner: There, there’s life!
    Mr. Public: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That ship is definitely deceased, and has been for some time
    Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
    Mr. Public: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, I took the liberty of examining that ship at the last Navy Days and I discovered the only reason that it is still afloat is all the tin cans thrown overboard. This ship is not pinin'! Its passed on! It is no more! She has ceased to be! She’s expired and gone to meet ‘er maker! She’s bereft of life, she rusts in peace! If you hadn't nailed ‘er to the dockyard wall she'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Er watch and station bill are now 'istory! She’s kicked the bucket, she's shuffled off 'er mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-WARSHIP!!
  5. Ooh, very good FW, very good.
  6. In case of any emergency HMS VICTORY remains fully gunned, Has got a "sea cat" but no seawolf system. Secondary propulsion could be obtained from any remaining outboards on the Invincible if there are any left. :roll:
  7. Well the report isn't fiction. The qustion is, does the readership understand it or even care? Until "ordinary" people do, politicians will waste no effort on a nil vote winner.
  8. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    I wonder what rates the members of this working party hold - at least one AB I'd hope since someone somewhere in the chain of command will have to do the work! :)
  9. I rather suspect that the majority of people who read the Portsmouth News or log onto sites which report upon such things fully understand and do care. I for one have not noticed any such news in any of the national papers and sadly its those papers who do seem to have more clout, and influence Govt. policy.
    Perhaps it will be the next PM asking "We still have the Hermes?" type question to the FSL. as happened in the not too distant past. Only to be told this time that there is a shortage of ocean going tugs to tow the Invincible to the war zone. :roll:
  10. Considering that the Royal Navy Past and Present weekend in Pompey says HMS Daring is now only appearing "subject to operational requirements"*, Invincible could step in!

    *what's the definition of "operational requirements" for her at present...? :(
  11. Purple_twiglet

    Purple_twiglet War Hero Moderator

    "*what's the definition of "operational requirements" for her at present...? "

    Trials programmes and other events that may need specific weather conditions, or access to ranges to make happen. Better to let her go do something that helps get her into service faster, than cancel and add X months delay to the programme for the sake of a Navy Day appearance.

    Spotters aside, I'm not sure many of the British public either know, nor, frankly, care what a T45 is, let alone whether she is open to visitors!
  12. Hear hear, Purple_twiglet. 'Twas a comment on her need to get up to scratch rather than trundle around being a PR machine.

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