Political Bollocks

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MIA
Book Reviewer
Jeremy Corbyn walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Corbyn :"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Jeremy corbyn, leader of the Labour Party.
Cashier:"Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Corbyn: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, mr corbyn, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Corbyn,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Corbyn stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Corbyn. ?....
 
DT reports that Labour (aside from what most folk would consider 'much more important issues") are having a Giraffe...


<<...Her comments, however, provoked criticism from Lachlan Stuart, Jeremy Corbyn’s senior adviser on domestic policy, who tweeted citing scientific papers that challenge Ms Butler’s claim.

Claiming that giraffes were his favourite animal, he was the way they behaved with each other was “not gay behaviour” because there was no romance, courtship, affection or pair bonding.

Studies showed that male giraffes only engaged in some sexual activities with younger males in order to assert authority...>>
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
DT reports that Labour (aside from what most folk would consider 'much more important issues") are having a Giraffe...


<<...Her comments, however, provoked criticism from Lachlan Stuart, Jeremy Corbyn’s senior adviser on domestic policy, who tweeted citing scientific papers that challenge Ms Butler’s claim.

Claiming that giraffes were his favourite animal, he was the way they behaved with each other was “not gay behaviour” because there was no romance, courtship, affection or pair bonding.

Studies showed that male giraffes only engaged in some sexual activities with younger males in order to assert authority...>>
Giraffes being gay would explain why there are now fewer giraffes in Africa than elephants.
Who knew?
 
Porridge on the HoC Menu today?

[IMG]https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1150756359497015298/xXj2IfkW_bigger.png[/IMG][B]BBC Politics[/B]‏Verified account @[B]BBCPolitics[/B] 2h2 hours ago
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"He reminds me of Goldilocks, Mr Speaker - one offer is too hot, one is too cold"

PM Boris Johnson criticises Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn for not supporting previous calls for a general election,

adding he hopes today's proposal is "just right".



IMO wrong sort of Porridge - a Two Year stretch @ HMP Slade for time-wasting would be far more appropriate.
 

fishhead

War Hero
It is typical of this current parliament that they take ages to agree anything and then disagree over the small details. So we're probably getting a General Election if they can decide when. :rolleyes:
 
Hoo-pigging-ray - a Decision!


The UK is set for a 12 December general election after MPs voted to back it following months of deadlock over Brexit.

By a margin of 438 votes to 20, the Commons approved legislation paving the way for the first December election since 1923.


Wow 1923? & it's only 2032 now!!
 

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