Probably something like meet Liberace, you're in his mess. He'll show you where your bunk is and introduce you to the killick of the mess, nice boy name of Freddy Mercury.
Divisions fall in at 0730 Mince past at 0800.
I don't carry a handbag... therefore I suggest the purple tubby is actually a transvestite... like all those men who wear women's dresses and call themselves Father. Mind you, the Pope wears rather a nice white number. :twisted: