FEMALE POEM I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong One who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I want him to be gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, be not annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! For a man who makes love to my mind And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I want this man to love me no end, And always be my very best friend. MALE POEM I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge tits who owns an off-licence and a fishing boat. I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't care.