Pirate jokes

Discussion in 'Nautical Jokes' started by polab, Jan 5, 2011.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Why are pirates called so?

    Because they Arrgh

    Why do Pirates go on holiday?

    For some Arrgh 'n' Arrgh
  2. How does a pirate ask for a date?
    Arrrr you busy tonight?

    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk - now Free
  3. If a pirate were not a pirate, what career would he have?
    A used CARRRR salesman?
    No, a BARRRTENDER, so he could still get rum!!!

    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk - now Free
  4. What's a Pirates favorite letter?
  5. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    A "Dear John"?
  6. What do pirates eat for breakfast?

  7. I thought it was going to be Aaaaaaaaaaaard boiled eggs
    • Like Like x 1
  8. U, so he can spell correctly?
    • Like Like x 3
  9. What do you get if you cross a paedophile with a pirate?

    Arrrrrrr Kelly.
  10. The American actor Alan Ladd has ancestors that were pirates.
    The most famous one was called Jim.
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
  11. Not many people know that the expression used for taking a person with special education needs out for the day relates to a term often used by pirates.

    Now you know where the phrase "Walking the plank" originated.
    • Like Like x 2
  12. There's a new craze for having sex whilst inhaling laughing gas that's sweeping the country.

    It's called a Jolly Roger.
  13. 083.jpg
    • Like Like x 1
  14. A pirate walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder. The landlord asks, "Where did you get that from?" Parrot replies, "Jamaica, there's hundreds of them out there!"
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
    • Funny Funny x 1
  15. All right Jim lad,who put sand in the vasaline,?it did give old Long John a rough passage.What will it be Miss Purity a parrot or a cock a too? I'll have a parrot for a change please.
  16. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 3
  17. An elderly pirate retired from the sea and his pirating career, married his favourite whore and purchased a small wooden bungalow set in an acre of land where both himself and his good lady wife grew strawberries and made jam for a living. Unfortunately, because of the lack of decent advertising, they never managed to sell any jam until it had gone past its use by date, meaning they had to sell it cheap.

    Everybody on the island knew this and they would wait for a month before going up to the ex pirates bungalow to get some cheap fruit preserve.

    You couldn't miss the place. Go up the dirt road and look for a wooden bungalow going by the name of "Old Jam Acre"
  18. We defiantly need a "Groan" button^^^^^^^^^^^^
  19. Defiantly? We defiantly need a dictionary.
    • Like Like x 3
  20. [​IMG]

Share This Page