Pirate jokes

polab

Midshipman
Why are pirates called so?

Because they Arrgh


Why do Pirates go on holiday?

For some Arrgh 'n' Arrgh
 

mikkimoomoo

Midshipman
If a pirate were not a pirate, what career would he have?
A used CARRRR salesman?
No, a BARRRTENDER, so he could still get rum!!!



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk - now Free
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Not many people know that the expression used for taking a person with special education needs out for the day relates to a term often used by pirates.

Now you know where the phrase "Walking the plank" originated.
 

taffscrivs

War Hero
A pirate walks into a pub with a parrot on his shoulder. The landlord asks, "Where did you get that from?" Parrot replies, "Jamaica, there's hundreds of them out there!"
 
Last edited:

jesse

War Hero
All right Jim lad,who put sand in the vasaline,?it did give old Long John a rough passage.What will it be Miss Purity a parrot or a cock a too? I'll have a parrot for a change please.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
An elderly pirate retired from the sea and his pirating career, married his favourite whore and purchased a small wooden bungalow set in an acre of land where both himself and his good lady wife grew strawberries and made jam for a living. Unfortunately, because of the lack of decent advertising, they never managed to sell any jam until it had gone past its use by date, meaning they had to sell it cheap.

Everybody on the island knew this and they would wait for a month before going up to the ex pirates bungalow to get some cheap fruit preserve.

You couldn't miss the place. Go up the dirt road and look for a wooden bungalow going by the name of "Old Jam Acre"
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
An elderly pirate retired from the sea and his pirating career, married his favourite whore and purchased a small wooden bungalow set in an acre of land where both himself and his good lady wife grew strawberries and made jam for a living. Unfortunately, because of the lack of decent advertising, they never managed to sell any jam until it had gone past its use by date, meaning they had to sell it cheap.

Everybody on the island knew this and they would wait for a month before going up to the ex pirates bungalow to get some cheap fruit preserve.

You couldn't miss the place. Go up the dirt road and look for a wooden bungalow going by the name of "Old Jam Acre"
We defiantly need a "Groan" button^^^^^^^^^^^^
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Ageing_Gracefully Book Competition: PIRATE HUNTERS Competitions 14
soleil Scotsman: "Anti-Pirate Wildcat Helicopter Unveiled By Royal Navy" The Fleet Air Arm 8
soleil The Australian: "Sending The Pirate Trade Off The Plank" Current Affairs 5
soleil Shipping Times: "Ex Royal Navy Frigate Completes Pirate Mission" The Fleet 0
MoD_RSS Minehunters protect drifting tanker in pirate waters Current Affairs 56
D The Pirate Blue Jokes 1
soleil Scottish Sun: "We Meet The Pirate Busters" The Corps 0
soleil Telegraph: "Inland Somali Pirate Bases To Be Targeted" Current Affairs 19
soleil Bristol Evening Post: "Pirate Hunter Who Steers Our Ships To Safety" Royal Naval Reserve (RNR) 0
Stirling Pirate twating ?. Diamond Lil's 0
MoD_RSS Royal Navy helps reduce Somali pirate activity Current Affairs 0
MoD_RSS UK Naval Task Force foils pirate attack Current Affairs 1
MoD_RSS Royal Navy, Marines and RFA jointly capture pirate mother ship Current Affairs 36
J BBC News: UK and US forces 'rescue pirate-held Italian ship' Current Affairs 6
MoD_RSS HMS Monmouth aids ship under pirate attack Current Affairs 0
Naval_Gazer HMS MONMOUTH wards off pirate attack The Fleet 1
MoD_RSS HMS Echo charts pirate waters Current Affairs 0
trelawney126 RN Anti Pirate Patrol & Daily Mail Article Current Affairs 15
trelawney126 Denmark Warship Arrests Pirate Mother ship Current Affairs 9
soleil BBC Cornwall: "Navy Refine Pirate Fighting Skills" The Fleet Air Arm 0
Drakey Facebook - Pirate style The Fleet 1
The_Caretaker Pirate of Pants Miscellaneous 1
The_Caretaker Pirate Nautical Jokes 0
S The Pirate Nautical Jokes 0
soleil Sky: "Government 'Underestimates' Somali Pirate Threat" Current Affairs 14
soleil Navy News: "Marines Destroy Another Pirate Mother Ship" The Corps 12
Seaweed Montrose duffs up pirate boats Current Affairs 3
soleil NotW: "Sea-k & Destroy: SBS Gets £8m Anti-pirate Sea Drone" The Corps 12
Seaweed Secret Pirate Interceptor Boat Trials The Quarterdeck 3
soleil Manx Radio: "Visit by Ship in Somali Pirate Incident" RFA 0
NotmeChief US Navy sinks Pirate skiff, captures Mothership Current Affairs 1
lonestar Pirate shot dead off Somalia Current Affairs 13
soleil Pirate Threads (2 Merged) Current Affairs 29
soleil Essex Echo: "OBE for Royal Navy Pirate Hunter" Current Affairs 0
soleil Navy News: "HMS Cornwall enters Pirate Alley" The Fleet 1
A Pirate Cruise. The Gash Barge 3
C Somali pirate sues Germany Current Affairs 7
dublinclontarf Pirate problems and were puffting about Current Affairs 58
rod-gearing Pirate Rig Submariners 26
S International talk like a pirate day Diamond Lil's 1
D Ahoy there landlubbers -- it's time to talk pirate Current Affairs 10
brazenhussy Brazen's Pirate ship - Crew needed!!! Diamond Lil's 673
McHammock Talk Like a Pirate Day Current Affairs 5
JockJack Them bloody gay jokes Diamond Lil's 30
janner Awful jokes Miscellaneous 59
taffscrivs Unfunny 'Jokes' (??) The Gash Barge 34
wal A few Oscar Pistorius Jokes. Miscellaneous 4
H Jokes about the wife! Blue Jokes 10
Polto Willy jokes... Miscellaneous 3
BillyNoMates This was supposed to be in the Jokes Thread. Blue Jokes 0
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

New Posts

Top