Pipes

pots359v

Lantern Swinger
Xmas duties on the Mach in 01, got the BM to pipe Bandit X 3, Large jolly chap, dressed in red trimmed with white fur, carrying a large sack filled with toys for girls and boys,just entered the funnel, accompanied by 8 reindeer.

Didnt tell the OOD, pi55ed myself laughing when he piped it
 

OSLO

War Hero
Invincible, circa '93: "D'ya hear there: trampolining practice will take place on the quarterdeck at 1500. That is all".

Another (myth?), after a young officer topped himself, while his parents were visiting the ship..."Officer Cadet ***, Hanger".

And the one always to please the catering staff: "D'ya hear there: the smell of burning is coming from the galley. There is no danger of nutrition."
 

junglyAEO

Midshipman
Late eighties, steely T22 at sea with batch of newly joined younsters on board. The OOW turns to the (very new) BM and asks:

"Pipe the Jimmy to the bridge..."

Before anyone could intercept him the pipe came over the main broadcast...

"Jimmy. Bridge"

...How we laughed!

jungly
 
D

Deleted 7

Guest
On the way to the Gulf in 2003, we had just come out of the Red sea. Every one was looking forward to the good 'hands to bathing' session but we still had to wait an hour or so. Up on the FX, we heard a pipe from the OOW;

'Shark baring red 50 for all those who would like to see a shark biting'

Every one rushed over to see the main attraction, yet not many clicked onto the 'bite' part of the pipe :wink: gave us a giggle watching them all though.
 

Jack77

War Hero
The Phillipines has weird easter rituals where people allow themselves to be cruicifed and flogged etc: to show thier faith. So one Easter in Olongapo some of the lads hired a mini bus to go and witness one of these events. The bus arrived and the Trot Sentry, a Monty Python fan, couldn't resist....

"Crucifixion Party....WAIT FOR IT!!.. Crucifixion Party muster wharf. Out the hatch line on the left one cross each"
 

Jamie

Midshipman
Overheard on an American Destroyer berthed beside us in Malta
We had just piped 'UP SPIRITS'.......I know 'Stand Fast the Holy Ghost' but not that day. Then we heard a Pipe on the Yankee Destroyer.
"Hands Muster Abaft the After Smoke Stack for your Candy Ration"

Later that afternoon we Piped "Libertymen Muster on the quarterdeck"

The Yanks were Piping "Liberty Guys to Glamourise"....true no Bull.. Honest...!!!!!!!!

8) :D
 

Darb

Lantern Swinger
"Hands to dinner, RPs to luncheon"

A miss-cue I will admit to: On steaming past Stromboli shortly after dusk, eruptions could be seen, and I thought some of the ship's Company might be interested in the sight. Unthinking, I piped "Do you hear there, OOW speaking, for those who are interested, Stromboli is now passing down the port side." The Commander was unamused.
 

dondon

MIA
junglyAEO said:
Late eighties, steely T22 at sea with batch of newly joined younsters on board. The OOW turns to the (very new) BM and asks:

"Pipe the Jimmy to the bridge..."

Before anyone could intercept him the pipe came over the main broadcast...

"Jimmy. Bridge"

...How we laughed!

jungly
Love it , can't wipe the smile of my face :lol: :lol:
there all good
 

safewalrus

War Hero
Howsabout on the arrival in Pompey and various naval tailors gathering around the gangway

"Vultures are now gathering on the jetty" Young BM with slapped legs!

or, as a ship came up the harbour in the usual manner with everybody 'piping her up' (OK they did it once when we both had a navy and people cared - 60 something)

"Attention to Port, HMS *******, she is wearing the flag of, .......er...admiral...er... arr fuck it!"

And the BM got away with it - the old man was wetting himself to much to bollock the poor lad!
 

dondon

MIA
safewalrus said:
Howsabout on the arrival in Pompey and various naval tailors gathering around the gangway

"Vultures are now gathering on the jetty" Young BM with slapped legs!

or, as a ship came up the harbour in the usual manner with everybody 'piping her up' (OK they did it once when we both had a navy and people cared - 60 something)

"Attention to Port, HMS *******, she is wearing the flag of, .......er...admiral...er... arr fuck it!"

And the BM got away with it - the old man was wetting himself to much to bollock the poor lad!
Just gets better and better , cheers matey :lol: 8O
 

FlagWagger

GCM
Book Reviewer
Another one from my 10MCM days.

Group of RNR sweepers alongside in Gib, one of HM S/Ms is slipping and proceeding to sea; as she passes the sweepers, each ship in turn makes the pipe, "Attention on the upper-deck, face to Starboard, HM S/M". However, one clever occifer decides that this is not right, he should inform the crew (and everyone else in earshot of the main broadcast) who is being saluted. Cue one major bollocking from MCM10 to our skipper which is then passed down, with interest added, to occifer concerned.
 

brigham600

War Hero
Jack77 said:
The Phillipines has weird easter rituals where people allow themselves to be cruicifed and flogged etc: to show thier faith. So one Easter in Olongapo some of the lads hired a mini bus to go and witness one of these events. The bus arrived and the Trot Sentry, a Monty Python fan, couldn't resist....

"Crucifixion Party....WAIT FOR IT!!.. Crucifixion Party muster wharf. Out the hatch line on the left one cross each"
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Mate, I am LMAO :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Seadog

War Hero
Moderator
'D'ye hear there, on orders of the Captain, there are to be no pipes other than emergency pipes from now until 1530. That is all.

Further to my last'
 

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