Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to join our community
Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site, connect with other members through your own private inbox and will receive smaller adverts!


Ark Royal, early '90s. During a major exercise a Chief had been tasked with injecting some realism into the proceedings by seeing if he could create a little mayhem. He succeeded in his brief. He managed to get hold of one of the Main Boradcast mikes, and his first pipe was something along the lines of:

"Safe Guard,, Safe Guard, Safe Guard! Abandon Ship! Abandon Ship!"

As people our wondering WTF?, 1st Lt comes on the Main Broadcast saying:

"This is the 1st Lt - Disregard the last order!"

Chief comes up "No, I'm the 1st Lt! That man is an imposter. We have been severly damaged, Abandon Ship!"

He was found eventually. If anyone was onboard and has a better recollection post it - this I heard from someone onboard at the time.
Heard from a sceptic destroyer; pipe for defaulters to muster outside the Reg Office - "All you bad guys muster outside the sheriff's office" !!!!
higthepig said:
Heard in in singers,from yank destroyer,Liberty guys to glamourise,muster by the after fantail.

The version I heard was "Liberty guys to glamourise,muster abaft the after smoke-stack"

One I used on Tenby when QM was, "Call the hands, Call the hands, Call the hands, Off Cocks on Socks, stow yer smelly pits"

Jack_the_veteran said:
Just a couple
"Jack Blair, trendy menswear is now in attendance on the jetty, AB ***** jetty"

A slight variation of the same pipe I heard last week in Pompey dockyard (the AB has been promoted, methinks!)-

"Louis Bernard international designer menswear is now in attendance on the jetty ...... CPOs mess, jetty!"
This one got me into a bit of trouble in the fez when QM on a carrier, with our air supply broken down in the wheelhouse and the bridge enjoying lotsa cool breeze, I called up the bridge...........

"Fridge Geenhouse"
Xmas duties on the Mach in 01, got the BM to pipe Bandit X 3, Large jolly chap, dressed in red trimmed with white fur, carrying a large sack filled with toys for girls and boys,just entered the funnel, accompanied by 8 reindeer.

Didnt tell the OOD, pi55ed myself laughing when he piped it
Invincible, circa '93: "D'ya hear there: trampolining practice will take place on the quarterdeck at 1500. That is all".

Another (myth?), after a young officer topped himself, while his parents were visiting the ship..."Officer Cadet ***, Hanger".

And the one always to please the catering staff: "D'ya hear there: the smell of burning is coming from the galley. There is no danger of nutrition."

Latest Threads

New Posts