Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to join our community
Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site, connect with other members through your own private inbox and will receive smaller adverts!


Not a gen funny one but:

*Smoke detector alarm goes off in HQ1*

'Smoke detector activated in ****, SSEP investigate and report back to HQ1'

Few minutes later

'D'ye hear there, the last alarm was a false alarm, it was caused by smoke'

We all just dissolved laughing.
Not entirely appropriate, but when I went on board the Stena Inspector down south, I heard a pipe " Would the next person to come by the bridge please bring a box of matches "
made me laugh
HMS Ark Royal circa 1986ish, young lad Able Seaman Seady joins ship.

For days afterwards "ABCD report to ..........." followed by persistant giggling from the QM.
BM on gangway, you'd get to see who paired off with who. The next morning we'd pipe;

'OM Smith and MEM Blake, Sick bay'

Also, I was down in the mess lounging about as on duty RF one weekend. The next thing you heard was;

'Safe guard Safe guard safe guard, Intruder on upper deck'

Along with a fit of panic from the BM, who was also very new to naval life.

There was us rushing for our gear then the on watch QM piped;

'Stand down RF, its the OOD in PT rig!' Followed by alot of giggling!
At a Dorset airstation:
"Testing the tannoy from the main gate. 1,2,3,4,5,5,4,3,2,1 test complete"
This carried on for a fair while the lad was getting a bit tired of the repetition so tried to vary it
"Testing the tannoy from the main gate A,B,C,D,E,E, D, errrr 5,4,3,2,1 test complete"
The entire airstation collapsed with laughter.
"OM Gallagher - OASIS Maintainer - Gangway"

"AB Seady. EFG" (Had no idea there was actually an AB Seady!). QM spent hours wondering what the EFG was on board!

"MEM Biffin. Bridge" (you have to be a fan of Roger's Profanisaurus for that one!).

"PO Tato. Caterer's Store"

"PO Laroid, ship's photographer, gangway".


Latest Threads

New Posts