piles

#1
They are driving me nuts. Every morning,going for a dump is agony. As for wiping my arse :shock:
Tried all the creams. When that itch starts, usually in a supermarket. I try not to but the hand reaches round
for total relief for 2 seconds ( very embarassing )
Anyone got any remmedies ?
 
#6
Emery cloth is better than sandpaper, once the big chalfonts have gone you can reduce to fine grade wet and dry for that nice clean shiny surface.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#12
In response to the OP, I would suggest that all anal action should cease forthwith until the symptoms clear up.

And next time, ensure you use sufficient lube or else your rusty bullet hole will end up looking like the opening credits to "Bonanza"...
 
#13
They are driving me nuts. Every morning,going for a dump is agony. As for wiping my arse :shock:
Tried all the creams. When that itch starts, usually in a supermarket. I try not to but the hand reaches round
for total relief for 2 seconds ( very embarassing )
Anyone got any remmedies ?
John

If it's that bad, it might be best to just ring up for an appointment with your GP.
 
A

angrydoc

Guest
#15
Ouch, you lot are so helpfull. As for Angry doc. hope your arse prolapses. Then you can itch lol.
If you're going to fucking be like that then I'll dispense with the local anaesthetic and scalpel and use a rusty grapefruit spoon. Ungrateful bastard!
 

KATWEEZIL

Lantern Swinger
#16
Stick your Tadger in a Mixture of Lemon Juice Cillit Bang and Tabasco Sauce - It'll take the focus of the Farmers and you wont have to reach as far to scratch...
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
@historyweird: c.1740: Leeches attached to hemorrhoids must be "diligently watched", as they often escape into the anus and must be "drawn out with salt".
 
#19
@historyweird: c.1740: Leeches attached to hemorrhoids must be "diligently watched", as they often escape into the anus and must be "drawn out with salt".
Salt is used to remove tape worm, the hoste has no fluids for days, and eats salty food, then squats over a bowl of water, when the worm pops out for a drink, grab it and tie a knot in its neck so it cant go back in.
 
#20
Salt is used to remove tape worm, the hoste has no fluids for days, and eats salty food, then squats over a bowl of water, when the worm pops out for a drink, grab it and tie a knot in its neck so it cant go back in.
Classic! LMAO! ... and yet another new keyboard!