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Parting with parents?

Topaz

Lantern Swinger
This is more aimed at females.
But did anyone have like major trouble letting there parents let them go?

My dad has been an arse about me joing for about 3years and has been adament I cant join untill Im 18.
Becuase Im a girl and all that and "guys can cope beter blah blah"

He then came out with "I dont want you coming back to me in 20years saying I forced you to join, I belive in national serivice but your too young meh meh meh".

Sooo yeah... my question is.... are all parents like this?
My dad wants me to join... but then bluddy doesnt.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Mine didn't even know I joined... I only went out for a pint of milk and a newspaper! 8O

Nah, your Dad will be fine. It's probably nerves and anxiety about you going out into the big, wide world and will soon change from a little girl into a young woman. Once he sees you in your No. 1s, Passing Out at HMS Raleigh he'll soon change his tune... :wink:
 

busterbroon

Lantern Swinger
i tried when i was 16 and my mum wouldnt let me join until i finished School in 6th year

but tbh i wouldnt let my daughter join the navy at all, if she wanted to join a force i would push her towards the RAF

but once he/she is 17.5 years of age they can do what they want
 

Stripey_G

War Hero
sgtpepperband said:
Mine didn't even know I joined... I only went out for a pint of milk and a newspaper! 8O

Nah, your Dad will be fine. It's probably nerves and anxiety about you going out into the big, wide world and will soon change from a little girl into a young woman. Once he sees you in your No. 1s, Passing Out at HMS Raleigh he'll soon change his tune... :wink:

There again SgtP...when she comes home three months up the duff...he'll change his tune!!!! ^~ ^~ ^~
 

2badge_mango

War Hero
Three months up the duff is not exclusive to young servicewomen Stripey.
In fact I'd hazard a guess that the prospect of a service teenager being pregnant out of watch is considerably less than her counterpart in civvy street.

2BM
 
My mother was reluctant to let me join at 16, but as she was sure I'd do it at 18 without her consent she agreed to sign the consent forms for me to join at 16.
I didn't realise how difficult it was for her, it wasn't until after her death that I found a 5 year diary, and on each Sept 11th (the day I joined) she made a note in her diary that I was STILL serving. I guess your father is feeling a bit like my mother did, he doesn't want to lose you, but I am sure that he will be just as proud to see you in your uniform as my mother was when she saw me. He'll come around, it just takes time......
 

dondon

MIA
Let my Daughter Claire join the RAF 3 years ago as a Medic , so proud of her when she passed out of Keogh Barracks as top recruit , very emotional stuff , now in Aghanistan doing her bit so even more proud of her now . :salut:
 
You'll know they aren't too keen on it when you come back on leave and find the locks changed; honestly it happened to someone I joined up with who hadn't told his parents.
It takes a while for the family to understand what you are doing especially these days when service people seems as unusual to most people as rocking horse poop. If you are a woman entering a profession that a lot of people regard as a male domain then yes, you could have problems.
Time as always will help, but, it is your life and you must do with it as you wish, it is not for your parents to dictate and they will I feel sure come around to the idea.
Good luck
 

danny

War Hero
Topaz said:
This is more aimed at females.
But did anyone have like major trouble letting there parents let them go?

My dad has been an arse about me joing for about 3years and has been adament I cant join untill Im 18.
Becuase Im a girl and all that and "guys can cope beter blah blah"

He then came out with "I dont want you coming back to me in 20years saying I forced you to join, I belive in national serivice but your too young meh meh meh".

Sooo yeah... my question is.... are all parents like this?
My dad wants me to join... but then bluddy doesnt.

On a serious note. In my entry we had quite a few under 18's and to be honest all but one (his parents had died and he was far older than his years) of them seemed to strugle. At least 50% of them (although passing out of raleigh) have since left the service.
Why not wait until you are 18? The navy will (well maybe) still be here.
It ties your life down a lot. Why not live a little first?
Im not trying to put you off. I love the navy and would never go back to being a civi.
But maybe thats because i didnt join until i was 21 and got to see for myself there was nothing in civy street.
 

Topaz

Lantern Swinger
Hmm yeah I do see why It would be sensible me joining at 18.
But I will be joining when Im 17... so thats close enough right haha

I dont think its a case of him loosing me.
I think its just the fact Im the last to fly the nest off into the forces, and the youngest to join.

Oh I dont know Im just really confused!
 

Karma

War Hero
Topaz said:
....letting there parents let them go?

Letting their parents let them go, or getting their parents to let them go?

Perhaps an indicator of the issue here.

It's inevitable when people go through life changes that it can be a wrench, and people deal with them in different ways.

It'll take time to recalibrate to you not being around, but at the end of the day it's your decision and your choice.
 
danny said:
Topaz said:
This is more aimed at females.
But did anyone have like major trouble letting there parents let them go?

My dad has been an arse about me joing for about 3years and has been adament I cant join untill Im 18.
Becuase Im a girl and all that and "guys can cope beter blah blah"

He then came out with "I dont want you coming back to me in 20years saying I forced you to join, I belive in national serivice but your too young meh meh meh".

Sooo yeah... my question is.... are all parents like this?
My dad wants me to join... but then bluddy doesnt.

On a serious note. In my entry we had quite a few under 18's and to be honest all but one (his parents had died and he was far older than his years) of them seemed to strugle. At least 50% of them (although passing out of raleigh) have since left the service.
Why not wait until you are 18? The navy will (well maybe) still be here.
It ties your life down a lot. Why not live a little first?
Im not trying to put you off. I love the navy and would never go back to being a civi.
But maybe thats because i didnt join until i was 21 and got to see for myself there was nothing in civy street.

In my entry back in the 70's I was the second oldest at 19 in fact they took the mick out of me a bit for it.
I don't remember them being immature or are younger people (I had the word teenager) less mature now than then? Blimey some of them could even iron and all could take pretty good care of themselves. I reckon younger people were given much more personal freedom by their parents back then, despite this being the era of the Moors murders etc..
Your point is very much taken though that one year these days with people joining much later than in my day can hardly make a difference.
 
I think in reality there are two aspects to the problems commented on above.

The informal attempts to raise the leaving age to 18 have created an environment where today's youth is being given the message that they are not mature till they are 18 thus making them less committed to choices made before they are 18. Thus unlike the lads who went to the G Spot at 15 who were 'men' those going to Raleigh now at 16 are but boys/girls and not fully responsible.

This is further exacerbated by the growing over protective nature of many parents who percieve risks that in general do not exist and as aresult become over protective of their offspring. This make the child even more incapable of making real commited descisions even after the magic 18 years are reached.

As a result I suspect the a very significant proportion of todays youth is really able to make sensible choices until they reach 20 or perhaps older.

The freedom and choice my parents allowed me would probably result today in me being taken into care as they clearly did not look after me.
 

Kelborn

Badgeman
My parents can't wait to see the back of me. But I'll be 22 by the time I go to AIB.

So it's about bloody time. I can understand parents being reluctant to allow their children to join the Navy at 16. I think that a lot of young adults don't properly consider higher education and use the services as a way of avoiding them. I'd always recommend that if a person has the capacity to get further educational qualifications that they go ahead and do just that.

Either way, the parent has to understand it from their child's point of view. If the young un can logically and rationally convince their parents that it's one of their best options in life, the parents shouldn't have much problem with it.

But hey, my parents always have been of the live and let live sort.

"do what you want, but if you get in trouble don't come crying back to us"

Although later on they're much more forgiving. :)

Three cheers for parents! Except the horrible ones.
 

Ant_H

Lantern Swinger
All parents just want what's best for their young ones and letting them fly the nest at a younger age than most is hard to adjust to in many aspects.

As you're female it's just that little more difficult for a parent to see their daughter go into a male-strong force.

During your nine weeks just let them know how much you're enjoying yourself (which i'm sure you will) and although they'll be missing having you around they'll be safe in the knowledge you're happy and wait for the beaming, proud as punch smile on your dads face when you pass out.
 
Hey hun, I am old enough to be your mother and my father, if he had his way, would have his four daughters and all the grandkids wrapped in cotton wool and living in the cupboard under the stairs!
 

onlinebacon

Lantern Swinger
Topaz said:
This is more aimed at females.
But did anyone have like major trouble letting there parents let them go?

My dad has been an arse about me joing for about 3years and has been adament I cant join untill Im 18.
Becuase Im a girl and all that and "guys can cope beter blah blah"

He then came out with "I dont want you coming back to me in 20years saying I forced you to join, I belive in national serivice but your too young meh meh meh".

Sooo yeah... my question is.... are all parents like this?
My dad wants me to join... but then bluddy doesnt.

Yeah mine are a bit like that, although Im taking the occifer route and going when I'm 18 anyways. I think they're just scared, must be a big thing like, seeing what they love and have put 16 hard years into going off into a rather dangerous situation :)

They'll be fine once your gone though :)

:thumright:
 

McCloggie

Lantern Swinger
I am probably far too old be joining this thread!

All I can tell you is that your parents want the best for you, and the fact that they have this arguement with you actually shows this.

The fact that you want to lead your own life and make your own decisions is probably the problem. Never mind the negative things - yes you will be in dangerous situations etc. but your chosen career is within a proven organisation where you are looked after, which has rules and regulations in place to protect people etc.

In some ways you are far safer in the forces than you would be outside in the big bad world.

Obviously I have no idea of your parents misgivings but you can always try this arguement.

Good luck.

McC
 

Topaz

Lantern Swinger
I agree with you all and Its a tought thing letting your child go.
But I mean... hes let my brother join the army and sister raf.
I dont understand why hes having such a stress with me.

I spose I realy shouldnt be moaning though
I mean hes allowing it even if he doesnt like it haha :D
 
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