Paraprosdokians

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by janner, Feb 22, 2013.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy!

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

    11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure..

    14. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    15. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    16. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
     
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