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War Hero
A young man joins the army and signs up with the para's. He goes through basic training fine, completes all the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally builds up to his first real jump from a plane. The next day he phones his dad to tell him the news

'So did you jump?' asks dad.

'Well let me tell you what happened,' the lad explains. 'We got in the plane and the sergeant opened the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got up and just walked out!'

'Is that when you jumped?' asks dad.

'Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door.'

'Did you jump then?' asks dad.

'I'm getting to that. Everyone else had jumped and I was the last man left. He tried to push me out but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over the jump master - a great big guy, about
six-foot five and 300 pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you going to jump or not?'

I said, 'No sir, I'm too scared, so he took his c*** out and said, 'Boy, either you jump out of that door or I'm sticking this up your ass.'

'So did you jump?' asks dad.

'Well a little, at first.'
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