OUR CILLA

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Backpacker1uk, Feb 26, 2008.

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  1. Time we had a collection for the nations favourite scouser.

    OUR CILLA

    Now advertising life insurance on the box. Times must be hard down to her last ten million! Bless. You would think OUR PAUL would have dropped her a few bob.
     
  2. #
    Never could stand the old slapper. That put on over the top scouse accent pisses me off and that's just for starters.
     
  3. Cilla selling Life Insurance?

    SURPRISE SURPRISE!

    McC
     
  4. I feel your pain... she annoys me too and Im a Janner ffs!!!!!
     
  5. Try walking past 6 foot cardboard cut-outs and pictures of her everyday. I worked for LV for three years in Bournemouth and for the last year they were going 'Cilla-crazy'. Oh yeah, insider advice would be do not get a policy with them..unless you want to discuss your hopes and fears over the phone with a Paul Gascoigne doppelganger. :thumright:
     
  6. Just another way for Scousers to nick your hard earned dosh.

    Time to go to the bunker again.
     
  7. Stop attacking scousers.........................Thats my job :thumright:
     
  8. I'm with you Slim, cant stand the fake bitch
     
  9. Don't these people have enough money. Her and Parkinson both flogging life insurance in most disingenuous way possible. Where's the puke bucket.
     
  10. As I have never been able to stand Cilla Black, I don't care. Slim, could you arrange to give her a one way ticket to some deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where the local water supply paralyses her vocal chords for good! :twisted: :thumright:
     
  11. Don't forget OUR CAROL and those much needed loans.
    Don't forget HIM OUT OF THE BILL/EASTENDERS and them InjuryLawyers4you
    Don't forget OLD BRITISH SITCOM BINTS and those Stairlifts.
    Don't forget ALL THOSE SKINT CELEBS that shop in MORRISONS.
    Don't forget POOR OLD D. BECKHAM esq havin' to shave his mush to earn a crust.
    Don't forget hard up GOLF PROS floggin' Real Estate in Sunny Spain.

    The list....really is....endless.
     
  12. Have you noticed that the top of her mouth and face never move?Buttoxed up to the eyes.Can't stand the woman and would be hard pressed to have her after a few months at sea!
     
  13. Jeez, that's what I call above and beyond the call.................
     
  14. I thought this was going to be interesting - just one of you bad spellin' barstewards not being able to spell my old ship!

    She's still there - just a reef!

    2BM
     
  15. Not just a Reef, a Royal Navy Reef.
     
  16. Sean Connery
    was interviewed by Michael Parkinson,
    and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

    Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.

    After the show, Cilla says,

    'Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer.

    Lets go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun.
    So they went back to her place and got comfortable

    After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

    Afterwards, Sean says, 'If you think that was good,
    let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex.

    But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand'.

    Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says 'Okay'.

    He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.

    Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful.

    But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to..'

    'I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun'.
    Cilla complies with the routine.

    The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.

    Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks

    'Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand

    and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?'

    Sean replies, 'No, not at all Cilla,
    but the last time I shlept with a scouser,the bitch stole ma wallet !'

    As a Scouser I must admit that Cilla Black is an embarrassment to me and most others who live in the city. She is what is referred to as a professional Scouser. In other words she put on that fake twang of hers to ingratiate herself back in the days of Mersey Beat and forgot to drop it over the years. None of us can help our regional accents and why the hell should we? But Cilla is a complete phoney through and through who has exagerrated her local lingo and consequently made herself look stupid in the process. Another parasite who rode in on the coat tails of the Beatles. and made a soft living 'singing' although I've heard better noises from a donk seizing up. She needs shagging with the rough end of a pineapple.


    Red Sailor
     
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