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Orrible yarns you never told the war office

Rumrat

War Hero
Share those stories you tell the lads but not the wife.(War Office)

Like how once at Silver Sands in Mombasa, I shit on the Jossmans lawn, and the next morning was made to remove it. Problem was all his family, two teenage girls about my age, his wife and son were all sitting on the veranda having brekies and watching me.
Oh fucking gloom.
 

Ballistic

War Hero
Rumrat said:
Share those stories you tell the lads but not the wife.(War Office)

Like how once at Silver Sands in Mombasa, I shit on the Jossmans lawn, and the next morning was made to remove it. Problem was all his family, two teenage girls about my age, his wife and son were all sitting on the veranda having brekies and watching me.
Oh * gloom.

Do you mean removing or depositing?
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Ballistic said:
Rumrat said:
Share those stories you tell the lads but not the wife.(War Office)

Like how once at Silver Sands in Mombasa, I shit on the Jossmans lawn, and the next morning was made to remove it. Problem was all his family, two teenage girls about my age, his wife and son were all sitting on the veranda having brekies and watching me.
Oh * gloom.

Do you mean removing or depositing?

I remember the removal being the one, but was told by my bestest oppo the original deposit was view at supper time.
Probably a family of voyeurs
 

Ballistic

War Hero
Rumrat said:
Ballistic said:
Rumrat said:
Share those stories you tell the lads but not the wife.(War Office)

Like how once at Silver Sands in Mombasa, I shit on the Jossmans lawn, and the next morning was made to remove it. Problem was all his family, two teenage girls about my age, his wife and son were all sitting on the veranda having brekies and watching me.
Oh * gloom.

Do you mean removing or depositing?

I remember the removal being the one, but was told by my bestest oppo the original deposit was view at supper time.
Probably a family of voyeurs

:D It occurred to me that maybe that's how you were caught in the first place!
 

Rumrat

War Hero
I remember a gunner out in Oz, Perth, who went ashore and trapped an abo girl.
He brought a new meaning to the phrase getting stoned.
He went home with the beauty and hubby came back.
As he was legging it the hubby threw bricks at him.
He recons the bloke must have been champion boomerang thrower 1972 as he said he never missed.
And on return to the ship he was bollocky except for an oil drum with the top and bottom cut out.
 

Seaweed

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Well the bio of Captain James Stirling RN who founded WA records that the locals could hit with a spear at 200 yards (which was, they say, a surprise to the settlers).
 

wavijunk

Midshipman
I remember a visit to a Dutch port where we parked behind a nice white ship called "Pollux". After a good night out, and a tin of paint, it had a name change, to .........Bollox.

Strangely the skipper (Wafu 2 1/2) wasn't happy and had a right hissy fit when he saw it next day.....

Ruined a good t-shirt n jeans that night :)
 

Seaweed

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Beat me Granny, for us that was the 'old' Dido-class Euryalus (Euryalus V) that did such good work at the Battle of Sirte and off Japan (but blotted her copybook a bit by smacking a lot of 5.25 into Illustrious). I take it you had the hard graft of being S Atlantic flagship you poor thing.
 

Jenwren

Lantern Swinger
I'm the secretary of the HMS Euryalus Association, Mr JW was on the first F15 commission 64 - 66.
70 years in June since C42 was launched at Chatham
JW
 

Rumrat

War Hero
rod-gearing said:
There was this one time when...................................................

Whats up the war office watching you, or is your oppo a white rat?
 

(granny)

RIP
Book Reviewer
Seaweed said:
Beat me Granny, for us that was the 'old' Dido-class Euryalus (Euryalus V) that did such good work at the Battle of Sirte and off Japan (but blotted her copybook a bit by smacking a lot of 5.25 into Illustrious). I take it you had the hard graft of being S Atlantic flagship you poor thing.

No, not quite, I was on her when she was in the Med, before she went SA/SA. I ended up drafted to the Bermuda when she came up into the Med. to replace her. I was a bit chokka not going down to SA. Still don't know why I had the draft chit.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Another story I can tell is a bit painful in the recollection.
Pissed I shinned up a tree in Mombasa, but upset some kind of monkey thing. I think it was a monkey might have been a Rock ape in disguise. Anyway it threw some shite at me so I grabs it and slung it out the tree with a right bassy on. It starts to scream when I grabbed it and flung it out, so the next thing I see is this HUMUNGOUS ape thing drop from above and slings me straight out the tree and about twelve foot in the air before I dropped like a lead zeppelin and break my arm.
"Was guilty of an act contrary to good order and prejudice to Naval discipline in that he did Self inflict injuries rendering himself unfit to work."
14 days No9 punishment deferred until fit with loss of pay.

"On Caps."
 
Done the usual thing of swapping name boards round whilst on trot sentry at Dolphin.
Great to watch all the RA's coming in the morning wondering who moved the boat during the night.
Skippers wernt too pleased neither.
 
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